He says he loves me but,,,,,

[Henry911]

I've been with my boyfriend 9 yrs , 2 yrs ago we split for nearly a year we both had new relationships. But now we are back together he says he loves me and wants to be with me forever but I don't feel like he's being honest. I used to know he loved me I didn't doubt it bit now I feel like he says what I want to hear, we have sex twice a month if im lucky ( it used to be a least twice a day) he doesn't comfort me when I'm sad and he gets angry when I ask for reassurents. He happily goes to sleep while I'm distresses over family problems. Does that seem like he loves me?

No it's not love nor caring - quite the opposite - it's unfeeling and uncaring - he sounds very self absorbed and lacking in empathy. In other words NPD traits so bad news. Will to make a good partner nor parent.

It sounds like you get blamed for wanting normal human relations and care. His words and behaviour don't match - get some professional advice from somewhere like Womensaid re a good therapist to consult.

Caring about the one you love isn't a chore, it's natural and essential, so If he's happy to rest easily whilst you're upset, I would question the relationship.

It sounds like you're already questioning it anyway - perhaps the trial separation should become a permanent one, to give you both a chance to find someone right xxxx