Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I am not enjoying my toddler

22 replies

Forumqueen · 15/05/2018 21:45

Please help I don’t have anyone I can speak to. Basically as the title sais I don’t like spending time with my 2 year old DS. I never have really. I hate it when I’m left alone with him. Me and my husband work full time, so shouldn’t I miss him when I’m at work? I really don’t! Sometime I miss my old life, and I’m so jealous of other mothers who are cruising through motherhood, making me feel like shit. It doesn’t help that’s he’s a complete terror to deal with. However I do really love him... I don’t think I have PND before anyone suggests this. I am just bored of being a mum.

I’ve expressed my feelings to my husband but he doesn’t take me seriously. He’s an extremely positive person and dotes on our son so cant understand where I’m coming from .

I don’t really know why I am writing this... I guess I want to know if anyone else has felt like this.... does it get better? And if so when?

OP posts:
DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 15/05/2018 21:51

Toddlers can be fucking bastards.

Do you feel like this daily, or just during long periods together, like at the weekend?

I am a sahm of a 3yo and I find periods of thinking she's much harder work coincide when I get in a rut and we end up milling about the house getting frustrated and bored of each other.

When I make more of an effort to take her out and do exciting things for her (not just into town to get my jobs done, or to a cafe for a drink etc) she and I get on much better.

Sorry if that's not much help, I think it must be bloody hard wok being a mum and having a full time job.

2yo is a difficult stage and once their communication improves they get easier and easier (and more fun) to be with, imo.

Good luck OP GinFlowers

Original poster
Forumqueen · 15/05/2018 21:54

@Dontbuy thanks for yourreply. I always feel like this when I’m alone with him. It’s not as bad when It me and his Dad with him. Yes I really can’t wait for him to talk he’s tantrums are ridiculous these days. X

OP posts:
Lollypop701 · 15/05/2018 22:02

You might need to find physical things to do that you both enjoy. I found that Boys need loads of exercise and physical stimulation... I’m not really that parent . I do enjoy walking and nature so we did that... my ds was great after a runaround. calmer and easier. However you might just like older children . Don’t beat yourself up, no parents are perfect and those that pretend are just barstewards 😂

2018Anon · 15/05/2018 22:10

Do you think its because he's difficult? Does he tantrum a lot?
I felt like this with both my sons when they were that age cos they were a fckn nightmare.

My youngest is now 4 and is getting a lot better but sometimes I still feel drained when we have a day together as its none stop attention. I can't be arsed half the time and feel like a terrible mother for feeling like this.
You're not alone, toddlers can be awful little creatures.
It will get better though. My oldest is now 10 and generally no bother (except for a bit of cheek and backchat).

Original poster
Forumqueen · 15/05/2018 22:26

Thanks for your replies ladies. You hit the nail right on the head ! Some days I just really can’t be bothered with the non stop attention he needs! I wish he could play by himself.I know that sounds awful, I think I will be happier when he is older (I hope)

OP posts:
Original poster
Forumqueen · 15/05/2018 22:27

And yes to answer your question he does tantrum a lot ALthough the past few weeks he’s been better.

OP posts:
FusionChefGeoff · 15/05/2018 22:45

I hated 12 months until about 2.5 so hang in there!!

Once they start talking they're ace and much more fun to hang out with.

Definitely get some activities in place to give you a focus until you get there.

MerryDeath · 16/05/2018 18:46

i've just gone back to work pt and honestly... i get home from work to my beautiful DS who is 1 and I just think...I'm so bored i wish i were at work 😣 trying to decide the best way to increase childcare and work hours atm but feeling sooooooooo guilty about it.

whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 16/05/2018 18:53

Nobody cruises through motherhood. Everyone has their challenges. Also, I'm with you OP. Toddlers are boring, to me at least.

Sometimes you just have to sit tight and ride it out. They change quickly. Make sure you get as much help as you feel you need and are comfortable with.

Don't be hard on yourself. Gin

Spotsandstars · 16/05/2018 19:59

You work full time so of course your son is going to be hard, he's craving your attention! Don't get me wrong, toddlers are really hard work and not many adults enjoy playing or reading the same book again and again so you're not alone in that.
Is it possible that your bond with him is a bit lost as you don't get as much time with him? Bit like if I get to spend quality time with my dh then I suddenly feel much closer to him (and like him again!) and want to see him even more? Bit of a vicious circle I guess?!

Shrodingerslion · 16/05/2018 20:12

Toddlers bore the heck out of me. So I understand op.

My dd is ten now all I can say it does get better and they become more interesting. Though it seems a lifetime at the start.

Huskylover1 · 16/05/2018 20:56

Oh gosh, little kids are hard work!

It's the never ending attention that they need, and care giving. And night waking. Exhausting!

I sometimes wonder whether the human race would be wiped out, if women had to live with toddlers and babies before actually getting pregnant.

Mine are 21 & 19 now, so both adults, and I'm not actually sure how I got through 20 years of care giving, now that I'm not doing that any more.

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change a thing, I love my kids to bits, but it's so much easier now that they are adults.

Me and DH are still in our 40's and are booking trips abroad like there's no tomorrow!!

Waitingonasmiley42 · 16/05/2018 21:01

I could have written this. During my last pregnancy and with newborn I realised how irritating I find 2 year old. Some days tbh I find it hard to like him after hours of screaming, demands and tears. Then he does something unbelievably sweet and I feel guilty.

It'll pass and you'll come out the other side. Toddlers are bloody hard work, don't feel guilty. WineBrewThanks

BarryTheKestrel · 16/05/2018 21:04

I hear you OP! I'm struggling with my 3 year old DD. The past year has got progressively more difficult and now I'm pregnant again so can't do as much with her and she has really ramped up the tantrums and bad behaviour. I don't enjoy spending time with her and as guilty as it makes me feel I would rather be at work most days. (I work 3 days a week)

Hang in there though, having spoken to friends with slightly older children, it does get better.

FermatsTheorem · 16/05/2018 21:10

I think everyone has periods of childhood they enjoy and periods which bore them silly - this may be one of those periods for you where you just have to grit your teeth and fake it till you make it. As PP have said, you'll probably find as your DS gets older and starts to talk/ develop imaginative interests / engage with other people, you'll find it more interesting. (I really struggled with the first year - I can do about half an hour of cooing over a baby then I start to get really bored.)

Puttingthefootdown · 17/05/2018 06:00

It's that really tough stage where they are transitioning from baby to child.
Think: Potty training, talking, walking with you instead of running off, learning how to take no for an answer, staying in bed at night, not touching things..

Its all those transitions rolled into one short year. It's not really much fun for either parent or child and its the most challenging part. It's bloody hard.

But like PP's have said, it does get easier.

Don't beat yourself up. You're aloud your down days Flowers

TipseyTorvey · 17/05/2018 06:05

Am in exactly the same place, don't worry you're not alone. Quick post as need to get up but my relationship with mine got better after i read a book recommended on here called calm parenting by Dr Laura Markhan or similar name. Worth a try? Good luck :)

InionEile · 17/05/2018 06:17

You have to be a special kind of person to enjoy the 2 year old stage. I was bored out of my mind and found my son exasperating. The constant noise, tantrums, jumping, mayhem and whining shredded my nerves.

Now my son is 6 and I love spending time with him. He is bright, funny and has great ideas and stories he tells. It’s so much better and we’re all happier.

Hang in there! Toddlers are a menace to society.... Grin

BrainPrions · 17/05/2018 06:17

Toddlers are rough. I got through it by letting her loose in our fenced in back garden. We had a sandbox and kiddie pool, she found all sorts of ways too keep herself entertained.

Toddlers love water, can you get like a bucket or extra sink tub to let him play with ourside? Even some water on a dirt patch for him to stomp in barefoot will give you a moments peace (and mud builds antibodies).

Battleax · 17/05/2018 06:24

Yes I really can’t wait for him to talk he’s tantrums are ridiculous these days. X

If he’s not talking yet at two, he’s probably frustrated at not being able to communicate, leading to the frequent tantrums.

At this point it’s appropriate to seek a SLT referral to support his speech development.

tomhazard · 17/05/2018 07:04

Is he recently two or nearly 3? If close to two I wouldn't be that worried about speech as long as he's communicating and understanding instructions. If he's 2.5 onwards SALT may be sensible.

Two year olds are really hard work! I hate all that potty training, tantrums business. Mine were both easier towards 3, hang on in there.

Also agree with posters who say force yourself to do more. They get Whiney when you try to potter about ime!
I bought a yearly pass to a family farm- if I'm ever tempted by not doing anything we go there and the DC always have a good time and some fresh air

New posts on this thread. Refresh page