Fairly distant relative spreading lies about my daughter

[villandrychat]

I recently found out from a cousin I'm close to that another cousin has been spreading awful lies about my daughter in our extended family.
I've only met this young woman about five times in my life, and my daughter who is 20 has only met her twice. The woman spreading lies is 24.
The last time we saw her was at a family funeral last year. She had just announced her engagement and was there with her fiancé. I was chatting to her, and suddenly her face just froze and she looked furious. I looked over to where she was looking and saw my daughter chatting to the fiancé ( as you do at funerals). What happened next would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic, as she literally sprinted across the room and dragged her fiancé away from my daughter who was rather bemused by all this!
We didn't receive a Christmas card from her, which was unusual, but I've now found out that she has been saying my daughter is disgusting, she threw herself at her fiancé and propositioned him for sex, which is a complete lie. I noticed recently that she had blocked me on Facebook (not that I care!), and we haven't been invited to her wedding. The reason she's telling people is because of my daughter.
My daughter is really upset and can't understand why she's done this. I think I can - my daughter is very striking looking, has done some modelling and even relatives who hadn't seen her for a while at the funeral were commenting on her looks. I think it's plain insecurity and jealousy on my cousin's part - and she's flattering herself if she imagines my daughter would make a play for her nice but unremarkable fiancé.
What I am concerned about is the spreading of lies - what would be my best course of action here? I am really angry on my daughter's behalf!

Pity her. She’s in for a miserable life if she thinks every woman her partner talks to fancies him.

I strongly suspect that other family members will have the measure of her already.

I would hope that they do have the measure of her - I'd be quite happy to never see her again, but I feel annoyed that she could say such things. I do feel sorry for her, but my first concern is my daughter being lied about in such a nasty way.

Woman sounds unhinged. Not sure what she thought she'd gain from spreading shite like that.

Tell your daughter that although difficult, to ignore it. As a PP said, others will already know the type of person she is.

Isn't it lovely to have someone so jealous of you that they feel the need to try and drag you through the mud!

Tell your daughter to keep her chin up! She's better than his woman.

Hmm no smoke without fire. She’s done an awful lot to avoid further contact

Your poor daughter, your cousin sounds unhinged!

I personally would let your cousin know that you have heard that she has been slandering your daughter and that as you were there at the time she claims this happened, you know that this is vicious lies and you are not prepared to have your daughter's reputation destroyed by a bitter, paranoid and jealous woman.

I don't know much regarding the law but I would be inclined to send a letter via your solicitor. I would tell her that her lies are classed as defamation of your daughter's character and that if it continues you will need to consider pressing charges (although this may not be possible as I say I don't know the legal rules surrounding slander)

I would also be contacting family members and letting them know that she is lying and that your daughter was merely polite to your cousin's fiance, as she would have been to any family member at the funeral.

Dancingmonkey are you implying my daughter did come on to him? You could not be more wrong. It's just not her style, and she was horrified and upset by this. I can only assume you're just being deliberately goady.

Yes poor DD, but also that poor fiance!

What do you owe this woman, or vice versa? Sadly you have run up against the fact that you can choose your friends, but not your family. Just because someone is a blood relative does not mean you owe them anything. Why not just walk away from the whole situation? Don't even begin to go down the route of solicitor's letters.

Some people will believe you, and some will no doubt believe her; nothing you can do will get people to move to your camp. Stay on good terms with those you like and ditch the rest. Life is far too short to waste energy on this.

Very true that you can't choose your family. I'm not that close to her, although before all this happened she had said our family would be invited to the wedding (she's having a huge do). As I said further up the thread, it wouldn't bother me if I never saw her again, which is probably now only likely at funerals as we don't live near her. It's the baseless, malicious lies that bother me.

Other people were there, other people would have noticed if your dd had tried to ravish madwoman's fiance at a funeral.

It's obvious that madwoman is lying, everyone can see that.

Let it go, then pity madwoman, she's really insecure, everyone will see that too.

Exactly Blanktimes - two minutes chatting over the canapés is not exactly seduction! It's insane!