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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

craziest thing your ex did (lighthearted)

50 replies

narkedwithanarc · 15/05/2018 18:55

my ex has told people that he once walked in on me...with my cats!!!

what's the craziest thing your ex has said or done since you split?

OP posts:

Cockmagic · 16/05/2018 13:55

Said I'd aborted 3 of his babies . We have one DD together and certainly didn't want anymore with the arsehole but that was false..

Said I'd cheated with a man who just had his hair cut ( I'd used a body brush for bronzer, it left lots of little hairs on me 🤔)

Bujinkhal · 16/05/2018 14:01

Called my mother to complain that I'd been seen in town with another woman, 3 weeks after I'd split up with her and we'd only been together for a month in the first place.

I think it ran in the family though, the day I split with her I got home to 15 messages on my answering machine from her mum calling me every name under the sun and telling me that her daughter was contemplating suicide (Like I said, this relationship was a month and I was away for a week of it). To be fair she was pretty reasonable when I actually spoke to her.

DiamondsBestFriend · 16/05/2018 14:11

When I was at school I went out with a guy when I was fifteen. Relationship ran its course and we went our separate ways. Several years later we befriended each other on FB, had a quick chat and he proclaimed how wonderful it was that we could still be friends after we’d had such an awful and painful break-up.... .

To be fair, he had never been out with anyone before me or since, is now in his 50’s and still lives with his mother......

WednesdaySpinner · 16/05/2018 14:13

My ex cheated on me and forced me out of our flat so that he could move OW in. His mum text me and it was very clear that she had been told a very biased story (that didn’t include OW) and went on heavily about what a nice boy her son was and how he would see the error of his ways soon. Needless to say I didn’t reply and then got an aggressive phone call from him a few days later saying that she was upset I hadn’t text her back and berating me for being so rude!

carriemathisonshandbag · 16/05/2018 14:21

Every Friday like clockwork he would write 7 page emails to my solicitor saying what a dreadful person I am. It went on a for a few weeks before he got bored. I think it was just to increase my legal bill because of all the time she had to spend reading his drivel.

Aprilmightbemynewname · 16/05/2018 14:25

The same ex paid his solicitor to complain I had put blinds up in my own home and had therefore blocked him from spying though my windows!!

LiitleAce · 16/05/2018 14:32

Tried to pay a girl I know a Fair bit of money to get off with my new bf on a night out

Original poster

narkedwithanarc · 16/05/2018 14:35

and I bet all of these lot wonder why they're exes!! I say we are all well rid!

OP posts:

WednesdaySpinner · 16/05/2018 14:41

@Aprilmightbemynewname not a funny situation for you at all but your story about the blinds did just make me snort at my desk!

MiggledyHiggins · 16/05/2018 15:01

Mine bought me an expensive birthday present.

It was equipment for something that I have never ever done, nor expressed an interest in doing. Ever. And it was the wrong size.

Oh, and he bought it with my bank card, spending money I didn't have to spare, and putting my account overdrawn.

Naturally I was an ungrateful cunt when I suggested that he should have perhaps bought it with his own card considering he earned double what I did.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 16/05/2018 15:05

One of my friends is not, and never was, someone's crazy ex.

He really liked a female friend of his family and started writing to her when she moved abroad to study for a year. He had to be persuaded not to move abroad because he was missing her. He got very concerned if she wasn't writing back often enough.

We assumed they were keeping the relationship low key as she was away. They had long phone conversations in another language so we weren't sure what they were saying but we all made assumptions.

When she moved back to this country they didn't spent much time together. The two families were still spending lots of time together socially. She started dating someone else.

After that things went a bit crazy. He was really upset that she'd cheated but she hadn't. They'd never been together, she'd moved abroad to get away from him. He'd basically been stalking her for years and their families were just ignoring it and hoping it would stop.

He talked about her all the time and was a bit obsessed but we all assumed they were together. He had their life planned out and his family never stopped him or corrected him.

Pinkywoo · 16/05/2018 18:01

My ex disappeared for weeks then came back saying his dad had died so he'd needed to be alone for a bit, turns out he was with another woman and when she kicked him out he came back to me, when we split up years later I found out his dad is alive and well!

DaisysStew · 16/05/2018 18:04

He accused me and the openly gay male CAFCASS officer of having an affair and even said he’d seen us out in town kissing - the look on the Court clerks face was hilarious.

More recently he stole a mug from my home and then posted a picture of it online.

JonSnowsCloak · 16/05/2018 23:05

When me and my ex split unfortunately for a number of weeks I couldn't move out straight away (renting together, he stayed but I had to wait to move into new place) He moved into the living room as his bedroom etc so I could avoid him. One night I came home and he had brought a 17 year old back from god knows where and kept me up til 5am playing guitar (the one shit song he knew) to her and shagging loudly...When I eventually left he seemed to have a change of heart and gave me a memory stick of photos of our relationship and a 'goodbye' card :/
17 year old lasted a couple of years apparently (he was 26) until she dumped him on Xmas eve and he started stalking me on fb and messaging my friends till I told him to fuck off on an email...

HeckyPeck · 17/05/2018 16:54

My abusive ex pretended in texts to me and my mum that he was dying and needed some money for some made up treatment. This was 3 years after we'd last spoken.

In fact the last time we'd spoken was at a family member's wake about 2 years after we'd broken up. My then boyfriend (thankfully also now ex) was there 'supporting' me and they ended up in some weird macho competition with the goal apparently being who could be the biggest and loudest tosser.

NurseButtercup · 17/05/2018 17:13

My ex was moving into a new flat and when he was unpacking he came across the engagement ring his former fiancé had given back to him.

He turned and said to me if I was lucky and played my cards right he might propose to me with that ring. I told him the answer would always be no if he proposed to me with a 2nd hand ring.

I split up with him a few months later.

Lemonyknickers · 17/05/2018 17:56

Ex boyfriend (8 years an ex) heard I was getting married, phoned me up as he thought WE would marry eventually and was upset. Thing was I wasn't in so he left this message with my soon to be DH! Then our wedding present was a picture of a sad little dog all alone in the rain THEN 2 months after our wedding he himself gets married. We've both been married 17 years now (to our respective partners) and are friends, we just never mention the sad wet dog picture!

HeckyPeck · 17/05/2018 18:00

at the sad little dog picture. I bet he cringes when he thinks of it now!

Ladymadness · 17/05/2018 18:03

Not ex but ex mil told a bunch of people that she had pushed me out of a bus and knocked me over whilst holding my newborn never happened and i dont know why she said it because it just makes her look a twat

mamahanji · 17/05/2018 18:34

Not as bad as some people's obviously but

My ex dumped me while I was on holiday with my mum and sister.

Called me 10-15 times a day for a chat while I was trying to move on.

Asked to borrow money.

Wanted to come and visit me in hospital with his new girlfriend when I was in for a month.

Repeatedly calling me and wanting to come round to hang out 🙄🙄

Or the guy I was only seeing for a couple of months and when I told him I didn't want to see him anymore, he asked me to rim him as if that would entice me back 😂😂

Then for a year proceeded to text me saying he drove passed my house and was thinking of me despite not living in the same town or making any effort in any way when we were seeing each other.

HeckyPeck · 17/05/2018 18:56

he asked me to rim him as if that would entice me back

🤣🤣🤣

Lemonyknickers · 17/05/2018 19:01

Sad little wet dog seems wonderful now I've heard he may just have asked to be rimmed! Ack

HeckyPeck · 17/05/2018 19:03

Haha you definitely got the better deal out of the 2!

mamahanji · 17/05/2018 19:19

He was also the kind of man that thought his penis alone was all a woman needed to achieve orgasm...he was genuinely shocked when I informed I could do it by myself, but he couldn't do it for me by himself, and rimming him wasn't going to help that.

Ugh just thinking back is making me feel icky.

Ladymadness · 17/05/2018 19:25

He was also the kind of man that thought his penis alone was all a woman needed to achieve orgasm
Oh god iv known one of these
He said to me once "why are you so quiet when we have sex? Its wierd you dont moan" ummmm cuz your shit in bed and refuse to do anything ? Didnt help that his penis looked like a pink crayola crayon it was weirdly pointy and freaked me out a bit

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