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Relationships

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Original poster

What to do if you're desperate for sex - but single and of a certain age

20 replies

AliceAir · 14/05/2018 22:38

Not really a TAAT, but inspired by the "why do so many women go off sex thread". I was going to post this on there, but I thought this might merit a separate discussion.

As the title says really. I know there are hook up sites, and people often say that if a woman want sex, then it's easy. But I don't know how. I'm 53 and single now for nearly 2 years. Shortly after my marriage ended, I met a man and the sex was wonderful - I had no idea it could be like that . The relationship didn't last for all sorts of reasons, and ending it was the right decision. But now I know what I've been missing I sometimes really crave sex, but have no idea what to do about it.

Never done OLD. Not confident about my appearance. I would have said (certainly for most of my married life) that I wasn't bothered about sex, but having had a taste, I now think differently. So what do I do? What do others of a similar age and stage (divorced, adult dc etc) do? Or do I just accept that's all over now?

OP posts:

something2say · 14/05/2018 22:54

Not sure love, but I advertised on tinder for exactly that....and got it, in spades.

I basically said I'd like to meet a man who'd like to come round once a week for food, wine, music and dancing and some love.....and I met the most amazing man I'm still seeing.

Granted it only left that wording up there for about half an hour, but it did the trick. I felt too brazen advertising it to be honest.

But why not give it a try? When it comes down to it, there could be a man or two living very near you who is lonely at night and would love a kiss and cuddle and little smooch.

Badhairday1001 · 14/05/2018 22:58

I agree you would find somebody on Tinder, there are people looking for all different variations of relationships/hook ups. You can screen them a bit first by messaging and just delete if they seem weird. I would meet somewhere public first though to be on the safe side.

Original poster

AliceAir · 14/05/2018 23:26

I guess it’s a question of being brave then and giving it a go. It’s nice to hear success stories - very glad for you both!

OP posts:

LoveforPGTipsMonkey · 14/05/2018 23:34

If you like younger men, there's the toyboywarehouse site - doesn't seem to be seedy, just right if you ar not after a relationship.

NotTheFordType · 15/05/2018 01:50

"Never done OLD"

Well, start. If you just want casual sex then Tinder seems to be your best bet.

Fucketynamechanged · 15/05/2018 01:54

Definitely try OLD

If you only want sex and not the relationship, the term you're looking for is NSA (no strings attached) or FWB (friends with benefits)

Destinysdaughter · 15/05/2018 05:57

If sex without strings is what you're looking for, try Fab Swingers website. Tons of men on there!

Badhairday1001 · 15/05/2018 06:21

Yes just be brave! There are loads of nice men out there. If it’s not for you you can just stop.

SoapOnARoap · 15/05/2018 07:06

Go for it. You are most men’s dream I think.

No hassle, not wanting a relationship & just wanting the good bits. I think you’ll be very popular on a lot of OLD websites. Go for it!

Azzizam · 15/05/2018 07:15

I'm in a similar position and joined Tinder. I'm an older woman and have recently found a much younger man who fits the brief. He lives quite locally and we never would have met but for Tinder. I'm also planning a few nights in hotels for some one offs.

I have found the men for the most part pretty decent guys, though you do need to sort the wheat from the chaff.

Justforthisonethread · 15/05/2018 07:25

OP re the ref to Fabswingers above - I have never seen a sadder site than that . A lorry driver making a delivery to Wilko and happening to be in my town ??? I don't think so and these people are with SO MANY OTHER people . Uuurghhh ... There are reviews of them however ! ...try some of the OLD sites as suggested . I have been lucky in that I have found someone I know locally . It's not an ideal situation as he is married but we have amazing playtime together . You will find that there are quite a few younger men who will be happy to have an encounter too via OLD.

skoda62 · 15/05/2018 07:28

WHAT, 50 too old!! No way. Your every mans dream.... Lots of men, myself included, prefer the more mature woman. There is even a group on a certain fetish site for the over 50's. And its inundated with guys posting that their'e seeking the more mature lady.

However, you gotta be careful. Inviting strangers to your house could bring problems? Some men can't take no for an answer. And before you know it, got a stalker at the door. Lots of men would willingly pay for a hotel. So take advantage of that. Also, with some hotels you can book a 'day room'. So your pleasure not confined to evenings/nights.

Be careful out there, and enjoy what your looking for.

Chocolate123 · 15/05/2018 07:43

You'll have absolutely no problem getting what you want. Lots of men about that will be extremely happy with you. Just go for it but be careful and chat meet first somewhere neutral etc

bakerstreet101 · 15/05/2018 07:53

It's not an ideal situation as he is married but we have amazing playtime together.

Not ideal - is that all? Is his wife okay with your “amazing playtime” 🤮?

skoda62 · 15/05/2018 09:45

Not ideal - is that all? Is his wife okay with your “amazing playtime” 🤮?

We don't know what his situation is with his wife? Perhaps she is going through a phase where sex is of no interest? Menopause? I've read that that can affect a woman's sexual needs. So much so, go off it? If any of these the case, and he is still sexual active, what's the alternative?
Watch porn whilst relieving himself when she's not around? I agree that cheating on her is not the done thing. And if she finds out, can lead to complications including divorce. Best let the two of them enjoy what they're doing knowing the consequences if found out.

Chocolate123 · 15/05/2018 10:11

Not ideal - is that all? Is his wife okay with your “amazing playtime” 🤮?

It's actually doesn't matter what his circumstances are he's cheating and she's allowing it.
He's having his cake and eating it...
OP there's plenty of single males out there whatever you do don't get into a situation like this.

skoda62 · 15/05/2018 12:27

She knows what she's doing and happy with it. That's why she's allowing it. Its not for us to tell her what to do. No matter how much we dislike it. Takes-two-to-tango. Why have cake if you can't eat it. Isn't that why cakes are made? To be eaten......

Original poster

AliceAir · 15/05/2018 13:07

Thank you for all your replies. I hadn’t considered my age and stage of life could potentially be looked at as a positive thing so thank you!

OP posts:

BatshitCrazyWoman · 15/05/2018 13:15

I'm a similar age, OP, and haven't found it difficult. Dating sites, and even Fab - easy to find a FWB. It's not all Wilkos delivery drivers - my friends (and they are friends, too) have included a graphic designer and a solicitor.

Onemansoapopera · 15/05/2018 13:22

Tinder is the way to go...although be careful...most people think Tinder is for hook ups only...tell that to those of us who are now married because of it...It's a trap I tell you!!

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