Can you please give me your advice?

[Justaman22]

Hi all

I got married in December 2017, but my wife still uses her ex husband name for everything she does I have tried to explain to her it really hurt me to have post everyday with her ex husband name on it, she is telling me that it’s too much hassle to change it, this a has led to some arguments and she told me yesterday that she wants to leave me. I don’t understand she told me she didn’t love her ex husband and he cheated on her twice I am starting to wonder if it’s true. I really appreciate your advice thank you

Does she have children? I will always keep the surname of my daughter no matter who I marry.

I'm sorry that she is leaving you but I don't think it's related to her name.

I think there must be other issues in your marriage than the name change.

Either ask her to re-consider leaving you or get a divorce.

She doesn’t have any children with him, few months ago I did find some condoms in her back and since then as you can understand I have my doubts, she has change her phone password and keeps it on her all the time now. When we met she didn’t not like her job so I said to her she could leave and I will look after her and her daughter this has but me in serious debt(my fault) and I have been very stressed but finding the condoms in her bag was a massive shock I do everything I can for her maybe too much?

She told few ago that I needed to sort out a life insurance otherwise there was no point been together that really upsteted me I understand I need to do it to protect her if anything happens to me

I'm so sorry op. She is taking the piss

I think her leaving you is probably the best possible outcome.

The name situation isn’t the problem. Some people just like the name they’ve always used. My mum continued to use my dad’s name for 30 years after they divorced. My MIL recently got married to her new partner (also about 20 years after her first marriage ended) and she and her new husband have hyphenated their names, so not only did she keep her ex husband’s surname, but her new husband has taken it too! If she doesn’t want to change it, it’s her choice and you have to respect that.

But the condoms and lack of commitment to your relationship and is something else entirely and yes, that would raise red flags for me.

She's clearly just after one thing. Splitting up will be the best outcome.

Thank you all for your comments it’s so hard because I really love her and I am not perfect but I would love to have a great relationship, she is back at work now so I am home and I know she is on her home I run a bath, light candle and put relaxing music so she can chill while she is I am cooking diner I am not expecting a medal for that because I believe I sharing house duties but some appreciation and i don’t understand why she wants to leave me

You sound lovely!
Tooooo lovely!
I'd feel suffocated with what you have written.
I think her leaving will be the best thing for you here.
Stop being a walkover. Women don't like it.
Let her go.
Wish her well and move on with your life.
This one is not the woman for you!