I am I mean. They broke up over a year ago but she has been clinging on. He has been firm but kind in telling her that he is in a new relationship (with me) now but she still messages him and gets upset when he doesn’t respond.
I knew them when they were an item and actually came very close to having an affair with him as there has always been an incredible chemistry between us. But we were both in relationships at the time and neither of us wanted to start anything with a cheat.
I decided to end the relationship I was in as I realised that I wasn’t in love with my then partner. He hesitated when I told him and disappeared for a long time. Eventually he told me that he had a lot going on in his life and that he wasn’t able to be the right man for me. And chose to stay in his relationship.
I was pretty gutted but totally understood. I didn’t expect him to leave her and I certainly hadn’t ended my relationship thinking that we would be together.
Anyway, that was many years ago and we have remained friends though keeping a proper distance. I met someone else and was happily married for four years before my exDH cheated and broke my heart.
Since my divorce, this man and I have been getting closer again and he told me that his relationship was over. That he had made a mistake choosing her over me but it was what he thought was the right thing at the time.
I suggested we do nothing until he had sorted things out with his now ex so that things could start on a fresh slate. This was a year ago and we finally got together four months ago. And it has been the happiest I’ve ever been in my whole life. He is definitely the one.
But. I am haunted by his ex. Obviously she is part of his past and I am absolutely certain that he has no romantic feelings for her but she haunts me. I see her face, hear her voice all the time. I try to push her out of my mind but she is there. All the time.
I don’t know why this is happening. Has anyone experienced this and does it go away?
I’ve just realised what a huge post this is! Thank you for getting to the end if you’re still reading!