Partner on craigslist

[Princess2011]

Hi everyone,
For the past few months i had this gut feeling, things didnt add up. My partner keeping his phone on him 24-7 wouldn't even let me touch it. He takes it to the bathroom etc. I finally figured his pincode out and went through his phone one night and discovered emails from women- hookers!! In his internet history i seen it was through craigslist. I confronted him very angry at 2am in the morning. He admitted to it( he couldn't really lie, being that i had everything in front of me) he reckons he just messges them but never done anything. He has deleted his pin code and says he will never do it again. When i looked into it he has been doing it for years even with his last girlfriend. Makes it harder as we just had a baby together :(. The trust is gone and im trying to re-trust again but i just dont understand why hookers?
Has anyone ever had this happen to them?

OP - first - it’s highly unlikely that for years he’d only be emailing hookers. They won’t be chatting to him beyond a few emails - given that ya their business.
If those emails sounded like personal conversations of any sort - then he is a customer, a regular.

Why hookers? Because it’s easy. Transactional. He doesn’t need to try hard to make them like him.

If it’s been years - there is an easy way to figure things out.
Hookers take cash. So - look at his bank records - and any regular withdrawals - that can be used to - save up a stash.

Why are you trying to re-build the trust? What trust? Because he TOLD you he only emailed and you want to believe it?

And finally - given that it’s likely that he’s been with multiple hookers - before you as well - i’d ask for medical checks. As well as would be testing myself.

Sorry

If he's been doing it for years it's a habit and he's highly unlikely to stop. Kicking him out is going to be less painful than going through his phone obsessively for the next few years, checking up on his whereabouts until you catch him out and throw him out anyway.

Hi princess2011, Firstly I am so sorry you have made such a devastating discovery, I imagine you are numb and in shock right now.

I am sorry to say that it is hugely unlikely that he has only messaged these women- they don’t do sexting and do not bother with time wasters. They have money to make and messaging diesn’t do that.

If you feel the need to get proof then bank accounts and phone bills should help.

I am just coming out the other side of exactly this situation so have quite extensive knowledge of how the sordid world of escorting works.

Please be kind to yourself, eat and drink and look after number one and your baby. Please feel free to message me if you need to chat or want any advice. Again, I am so so sorry x

I found my exH on adultwork. It was a complete fluke. I went to a website on his pc and it autofilled an email address I didn't know. However he used his normal password so I got to sit and read loads of exchanges between him and these women.

One day he arranged to go meet one and sure enough before the time he'd called a taxi then an hour later another one. Yet he says he never met Anyone!

Hence ex.

I'm sorry OP if it's been going on for years it's not going to stop and you need to get tested.

I wish I'd had the courage to leave then. Not end up married to him.

Of course he's not just messaging them. Please don't be so gullible. Hookers haven't got time to message men. They need to make money.

If you can build trust after he's been with prostitutes for years, then I wish you well.

Men who use prostitutes behind their partner's back are dishonest, selfish and stupid men. There is no cure for stupid, no cure selfish and I personally don't believe for dishonest either.

I echo the previous poster who suggests getting yourself checked.

Hope you are ok.

I have been tested, came back clear thankfully. I know he is probably lieing about not sleeping with them. Just so hard when we are a family, own a house etc. So much to walk away from. I was just curious to see of im not the only one who has been through this.

Honestly, you are not alone, so many of us have been through this. It is hideous, it hurts and is hard. I am so sorry.

And, oh my god I understand what you are saying about house and family. I am still struggling now x

My ex did/said this. But it wasnt as regular. A few messages from a work trip to a different city. I believed and sort of still believe he probably didnt do it. But not because he didnt want to! Just too nervous. Either way I chucked him out. Only together 3 years, and no DC so it was an easy decision. No way i would have ever trusted or respected him again.

Someone posted on here (sex worker) saying its common for men to just messagw for titillation. Wastes their time. Its not much better though, IMO, and they still want to cheat. So fuck those guys.