Relationship with my dad

[Helmlover]

My relationship with my father broke down about 5 years ago. We had a massive argument, he swore at me and we have not spoken since. Well to be fair to him, he texted me twice but I never replied and that's where it left off.

Our relationship has always been complicated- he was abusive towards my mum, they divorced and he made a life with the woman he'd been having an affair with. He never introduced us and up until this day I have never met her or her grown up children, never been invited to their house or any family gatherings- as you can imagine this has been very hurtful and there's always been a distance between my dad and I because of this.

Despite everything, as I'm getting older and the years are going by I am aware that life really is short and I'm starting to think I should make amends. Do you think this would be the right thing to do or am I just inviting pain back into my life?

Would it help to write down how you feel and decide if you want to try and have a relationship? because to be honest it wouldn't work if you're holding in anger and resentment against him because it will always be there. Could you not invite him to yours to talk and see how he feels and have it out with him?

I have had similar experience and for me personally my father is who he is I have gone nc to protect myself. I realise life is to short and if you feel you can move on give it a go the way I look at it you have more to gain if he comes good for you.If he doesn't it just makes it easier to close that door