WTH is a relationship,3years in and I'm confused.

[Mummyanne]

I've been in a relationship for almost 3 years with LOTS of ups and downs and breakups. We have an almost two year old and lil dog but we don't live together. We haven't since October. I'm in temp and he's with his parents. He can't make his mind whether to buy or wait for me to be given a place with could take AGES. I ask for communication and love and more time than just once or twice a week of seeing each other. I ask him for his help and to do stuff together when he's not at work but he says he works hard and just wants to chill and gets annoyed if I ask him to go anyway for than once a week. He says I should be doing more for him and I kinda think I should I just have no idea where to start on making a relationship work. My parents argue non stop. And his mum forced his dad into marriage so neither are good role models.

So he doesnt wanr to buy a house in the hopes YOU get given one?

He wont spend time with you because hes tried from working?

He says you should do more for him?

He sounds like a first prized arsehole tbh. If he could buy a house why would he want to see you and his child in temporary accomodation which has a rep for not being the best???
What exactly is this more you should be doing?
Why should you do more but he gets to be all king dick and sit on his throne and tell what youre doing wrong?
You already said both sets of parents have dysfunctional relationships, do you really want your child growing up thinking the same? Was it nice watching your parents fight all the time?

I would i say ditch the man child. What exactly do you see you will gain by sticking around except for more heartache and confusion?

@Pickleypickles

I must admit I'm not the best partner. I suffer with anxiety and depression and I take medication and sometimes my mood swings are horrendous and he's been there for that and honestly he does say I take the piss because I do ask him to drive a lot when we go out. Idk I literally don't know what's ok and what's not.

But hello, you're raising your child alone. He drives when you go out? Big whoop.

This isn't a relationship.

You'll be a lot happier when you've ended things with him; after the dependency and normal break up sadness - trust me.

What does he do for you OP?

So you're pretty much raising your child alone, he doesn't appreciate that or you and feels you should be doing more for him AND he is waiting for you to be allocated somewhere so he can then ride your coattails and move in with you?

Hate to be brutal but if he genuinely cared / wanted to see you more he would be making more of an effort.

Your not in a relationship with him OP, hes barely seeing you.I'd say he was stringing you along but hasnt got the decency to end it. I'd get rid of him and concentrate on yourself, child and dog.
It will also get worse if you live with him, then he wont do a thing, I'm telling you.

We have recently broken up and got back together a month ago because he was in bits missing me but idk what to believe. Thank you so much for the advice

Go on actions not words. It shouldn't be this hard. 3 turbulent years - where's the fun? Where's the love? Where's the emotional safety?

But
If he wanted to be with you so much he was crying and in bits then he would be showing that to you and his child, he wouldnt be acting the same way he was before you split. I think deep down, even if you wont admit it, you are hoping he will change, that he will become a dream father and husband, a man "you know" is in there somewhere. Again i have been there. He wont change. He wont ever become that man. I dont wabt to be harsh but that is the reality and its a horrible one to accept.