Boyfriend has suddenly split with me after two & half years

[Button87]

Hi me and my boyfriend have been together for over two and a half years he split with me a few days ago completely out of the blue I can’t understand why . He was madly in love with me then all of a sudden out of no where said he doesn’t love me as much anymore and it’s over.he has two children from a previous relationship he has to see them round his ex’s she’s always had full control over him in the days leading up to the split he seemed to change he’d said he’d like to take the kids on holiday with her and couldn’t see any wrong in doing so he also said seeing his kids three days a week wasn’t enough for him and missed being with them constantly and even mentioned trying again with her what is it didn’t work out tho .like I said all of this came completely out of the blue he went from loving me so intensely saying he couldn’t live without me to telling me he didn’t love me as much and it was over in days .im so confused I keep going round and round in my head what I did wrong I’ve even asked him he’s just says it’s not you it’s me I was always the doting girlfriend I’d even wake up really early to do him breakfast and his work friends breakfasts too even though I have two children of my own I’d always look after him really well I just can’t understand it .but have a strong feeling he’s cheated with her and is now going back their.

Sounds like his ex still pulled his strings. Using dc as emotional blackmail is sick imo. But unfortunately you can't argue with a doormat.
Move on and leave him to it.

Sadly I think you’re going to need the accept this is done. The bond between parent & children will always top trump any new relationship.

He’ll kick himself in the future as you sound lovely however, you can’t argue a feeling & if he feels that way, you’ve got to let him go

Sounds like his attention is with his kids and not you anymore. Maybe he sees a way in and he is taking it ?

Who knows.

I would stop looking for fault in what you did. Sometimes our priorities change and he has been a bit of an arse to not communicate it to you.

In the mean time have a good cry, eat ice cream and do something special with the kids.

It will get better.

Sounds like he's gone back to her.

I'm so sorry, this must be a terrible shock.

So sorry you are going through this.
But, he's gone back to her to be with his kids more.
Nothing wrong with that.
But unfortunately means that you get hurt big time.
Concentrate on you and your DC.
Look after yourself.
Block him on everything so you are not tempted to keep torturing yourself.

He’s a great dad I can’t fault him there I was told from the off he was having his cake and eating it ,he’s always been a doormat where she’s concerned she’d only have to click her fingers and he’d go running I can’t understand why he’d do this she treated him like dirt throughout there relationship and continued to do so even more afterwards,I just feel so heartbroken right now I was madly in love with him and he was me only two weeks ago he was saying he’d love to marry me I just can’t get my head round how someone can change there feelings so quickly I’ve been through an awful lot through our whole relationship I’ve put up with him running around there whenever she clicked her fingers as I always saw it as it was for the children’s benefit.i just feel such a fool as in my gut I feel he’s been with her behind my back and is now going back their .he won’t give me a straight answer when I asked him he just says well I don’t care about my happiness as long as the children are happy which is lovely but his children had got used to the fact their mom and dad weren’t together anymore and he saw them 3-4 times a week isn’t that going to confuse them.my heads such a mess right now I can’t think what I could of done wrong to make him not love me as much I put up with things most women wouldn’t I bent over backwards to make him happy.

Well lesson learned then on your part.
You don't have to bend over backward to 'keep a man'
You don't have to put with someone with this much baggage in future.
First signs of being under the Ex's thumb, you run - far and fast.
It's a harsh cruel lesson for you but all the signs were there, you just chose to ignore them all.
Don't do that again.
As you are finding out now, it's no good for your mental health!!!

Sure sometimes we ignore what we see openly,anyway he cheated on both of you maybe he found another one and maybe not really her ex

Thank you everyone was my own fault I was warned by my family he was just very good of making me believed he loved me and couldn’t live without me