Smacking?

[Cawfee]

I’m wondering what everybody’s views are on smacking a child for discipline? My small son was playing up (something trivial but annoying and he had been verbally warned). My OH smacked him across the back of the hand, short tap, to stop him touching something. My son cried and immediately came to me. There was no mark and he quickly got back to playing. I was furious. I took my OH aside and said I’m not interested in parenting like that and I don’t want that happening again. He agreed not to do it again but wasn’t sorry for doing it. I don’t know. I just feel really weird about it and him now. He’s shown he can resort to that although he’s promised not to do it again. Am I over-reacting? I’m feeling really pissed off despite his assurances not to do it again. I birthed that boy and feel how fucking dare he touch my darling.

I really don't like smacking. You can't smack another adult who's not doing what you want/getting on your nerves so why should you smack a child for the same reasons? I also think it says more about your temperament than the child's behaviour. Is he your sons dad? If not I think his definitely over stepped the mark. It doesn't sound like a bad/aggressive smack, but I get it. I'd still be pissed too op.

Yes he is the Dad and no it wasn’t aggressive but it’s still shocked me and made me feel a bit weird. I don’t like it. I didn’t expect he’d ever ever do anything like this. It’s really put me off him to be honest. I actually looked at him today and thought “wow you are really ugly”. It’s shaken my interest/liking in him :(

I would't worry about it too much, you've told him your thoughts and he's said he won't do it again.

Whilst I've never smacked my kids (I made the decision not to before they were born), I have friends who have (occasionally) smacked their kids have they turned out just fine. I don't think a 'tap' like you described will have damaged your child in anyway.

I think the problem is when people rely on it as a way of disciplining. I suppose it can become habitual and there is no way to escalate discipline if behaviour is really bad. If a kid gets a smack for 'answering back' what would you have to do if they punched someone?

If your husband doesn't do it again then I'm sure you will move on from it. It's probably upset you far more than your son.