Please,
Few friends I can ask advice, been single more or less 7 years apart from a short lived thing.. basically I don't know where I'm going wrong & how I can change. I think I'm the typical 'always want what I can't have' & 'only attracted to bad boys' type & however hard I try I can't change that. After the last thing (wouldn't call it a relationship really.. he definitely didn't see it that way) I couldn't get over him even though he treated me badly I was in love with him for 4 years.. just hoping he would change his mind.. I've lost 4.5 stone for him but still feel like I'm not good enough. I measure every potential man as in my league or above my league & would never message or approach a guy who I considered out of my league as I hate that inferior feeling. But if someone nice & attentive comes along I'm just not attracted to them. People say I don't give anyone a chance & there doesn't have to be a spark.. for example a very nice guy has been messaging me for months & asking me out on dates 3 times now I've let him down including tonight, he's not unattractive & been so nice about it but I just couldn't force myself to go & give him a chance.. I'm ready for a relationship & want to be happy but have this guard up that I can't let down.. I'm a screwball aren't I? What would a therapist make of me? Has anyone successfully dated someone where there was little attraction at the start but it grew?
Is it me? I just feel like nobody will ever fall in love with me again.. I'm lonely & sad but got so much to give