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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Looking for some advice

9 replies

Shockandaww · 10/05/2018 18:31

So here it goes. Me and my GF have been together for a while now and she continues to bring up ex’s in a sort off comparison way like me and ... or he wouldn’t have done .... is this a good thing or a bad thing also she has told me about every one of her ex’s and brings them into conversation from time to time. I also don’t know how to handle the fact she is still close friends with one of her ex’s and constantly texts him every day with 😘 at the end of message. He sends videos and gifs that are strange as if it’s like watch the exact moment you rip his heart out. Am I being paraynoyed

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 10/05/2018 20:17

Yeah that's a bad thing. Sounds like she's using you in an attempt to make him jealous.

Time to man or woman up, pull up your adult pants and tell her to get to fuck.

Toasttea · 10/05/2018 21:01

No that’s bang out of order! I wouldn’t be putting up with that

Original poster
Shockandaww · 10/05/2018 23:00

The thing is we are engaged one off the things she asked was it okay to text I thought it was harmless and they are just close friends. But the more I think about the more it winds me up to think that maybe she is just settling for me but really wants more. Could I be blowing this out of proportion.

OP posts:
Toasttea · 11/05/2018 06:00

No your absolutely not blowing it out of proportion. An ex is an ex for a reason! If she had any respect for you she wouldn’t be txting or constantly talking them!

LanguidLobster · 11/05/2018 06:07

The comparison thing is really wrong, you need to talk to her.

Original poster
Shockandaww · 11/05/2018 08:04

But how to I speak to her without coming across as jealous or un trusting. He is a ex from I would say maybe 3 years ago. The comparison thing is if I say something she then says yeah that’s how ... felt and yeah ... would do this because of that it really is starting to get to me. I love her to bits and would do anything for her. I do find it hard to communicate with her at times without feeling iv said something wrong to offend or upset her.

OP posts:
something2say · 11/05/2018 08:09

I wouldn't worry so much but only because I tend to discus my exes sometimes. They were a part of my life so how can I tell a story without their name coming up if it's relevant?

ShatnersWig · 11/05/2018 08:30

I do find it hard to communicate with her at times without feeling iv said something wrong to offend or upset her

Split up NOW. If you can't communicate without feeling like this, then you should not be in a relationship with this person.

she continues to bring up ex’s in a sort off comparison way like me and ... or he wouldn’t have done

Of course this is a fucking bad thing. You should have run for the hills.

But how to I speak to her without coming across as jealous or un trusting

You don't. You simply say "I'm breaking off the engagement" and get the fuck out of there. Dunno how long you've been engaged but it's cheaper to get out now than when you're married. Because I'm telling you now, it ain't gonna change and divorce won't be cheap when you finally wake up and smell the coffee.

Original poster
Shockandaww · 11/05/2018 13:13

Do you text them but and continually compare them to your current partner also can I ask what point of view this is coming from male or femal?

OP posts:
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