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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help, where do I start? What should I do?

3 replies

TassleGirl · 10/05/2018 18:08

Right, I try to keep this as short as possible and hope some of you have some good advice for me.

I am 26 year old and working 2 days a week (10 hour days plus commute) and the rest of the week I supposed to be doing my online diploma course I started about a year ago. I don't know where to even start... well the course ... it's not going great. I was so looking forward to do it and finally achieve something in my life but been struggling with it. It is not easy at all because I am studying interior design and they do not have a clear marking system. I have had loads of my assignments rejected or not passing because the tutor did not think I met the requirements. It is fair enough but the problem is it is not very clear what the requirements are. I feel sometimes it is up to the tutors mood to whetever let me pass or not. This has really put me off the course. I completed 4 assignments out of the 10 and feel like a massive failure here. I honestly have not even touched my course work for about 2 months... I just don't think I can cope with another rejected assignments or fail. I usually spend between 40-60hours on one assignment first time around and then some more after it has been rejected.

Anyway I bet you are asking now what I am doing the 5 days a week I am not working and the answer is nothing... I mean I potter around, I do some diy (LOVE diy) cut the lawn, do shopping and watch an awful lot of tv... I hate myself for this. I am so much more than this and hate to see how the time is slipping away while I am doing NOTHING!

I have no friends. None, nothing and since I am working in childcare I don't even have colleauges... I am socially such an awkward person. I often find myself stugulling to make conversation or even if I do I always say something I regret... and I just end up being embarrased for myself. Also, english is not my native language and I am so embarrased of my accent and vocalbulary.

I have a boyfriend (he is btw native english speaker if you wondered) He travells a lot (I mean a lot!) with work. It is fine I don't mind... I sort of got used to it and don't even miss him when he is not here. I do feel though that our relationship suffers because of my boring life. When he is home I find myself nagging him a lot and I really wish I could just have friends or work or anything to keep me busy while he needs to catch up on sleep or prep for the next trip.

I am leaving my job in childcare at the end of July. I hoped to finsih my coursework by then but I still have 6 assignments left. At the beginning of the year I was really enthusiastic and had 3 goals to achieve by the end of July (1, finish course 2, new job 3, buy a house as a renovating project) but I feel like none of these will happen because I am lazy and don't have any motivation. I really don't know how to pull myself together... I really don't know where to start.

All I know is that I want to work, have adult company and enjoy life. I am disgusted by myself and feel stupid and a big 0, nothing and I am scared that its never going to change.

Anyone any good advice?

OP posts:
whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 10/05/2018 19:37

First thing to do is chat with your tutors about the course and ask them for feedback. Also, ask for the marking criteria.

TassleGirl · 10/05/2018 19:54

I have emailed the school. They are yet to get back to me...I think I just picked the wrong course. Paid quite a lot of money but not getting the education I was expecting and that's the most upsetting part of it.

OP posts:
RainySeptember · 10/05/2018 19:54

I think interior design is an odd choice for someone who is socially awkward and it doesn't sound as if you are particularly talented at it.

I agree that you should speak to your tutor to see whether they feel you have a future in the industry.

If so, work your socks off to get it finished. If not, cut your losses and drop out now.

If I were you I'd be quitting the course, looking for a full time job and joining a relevant meetup group to extend my social circle.

If you're not happy, change things. Nobody's going to knock on your door and do it for you are they? You say you feel like a bit of a loser but the real shame would be still saying that in a year imo. You're still young, you haven't ruined your life, it's all fixable.

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