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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husband leaving

30 replies

Armywife47 · 10/05/2018 12:07

Hi, new on here, looking advice, my husband of a lot of years has decided to leave, I stopped working when my youngest was born 2003 and didn't go back to work (part-time) until 2014. He has been left a large inheritance and will use that for a new house, what am I entitled to and who do I go to see? I have 2 children

OP posts:
Idreamedadreamonce · 10/05/2018 12:34

See a solicitor asap.

AJPTaylor · 10/05/2018 12:39

You absolutely need to get professional legal advice. If you are indeed an army wife his pension may be worth more than the house!

hellsbellsmelons · 10/05/2018 12:49

You are entitled to at least half of everything.
Probably more if he is leaving the DC in your care.
Please get legal advice urgently on this.
Try to gather any evidence of earnings, inheritance, savings accounts, other assets, pension.
Get paperwork together on anything you can as well.
Like the things mentioned above.
You will also need your marriage certificate to get a divorce.
Everything - you are entitled to at least half of everything!!!!
Remember that when he proposed a crappy deal for you!
He will also need to pay you maintenance for the DC and maybe even spousal maintenance.
Get a shit hot lawyer quick sharp!

Original poster
Armywife47 · 10/05/2018 13:23

to be honest still feeling numb, can I see a lawyer just for advice? he is worried I will go for his pension

OP posts:
Dancingmonkey87 · 10/05/2018 13:29

I think inheritance is completely separate asset. You would be entitled to maintenance and division of martial assets and a cut of his pension. It’s rare spousal maintence is given now ( normally for people who are high earners where the wife has been married 20 years and sacrificed a career)

Dancingmonkey87 · 10/05/2018 13:30

In your case your working part time and have been for several years so there would be no need to get spousal maintenance.

Thebluedog · 10/05/2018 13:32

Everything, and I mean everything, inheritance, pension, savings, cars etc is all classed as marital asset, and as such will go in the pot. The starting point for splitting this is 50/50, but a lot depends on who will be the primary career for the children etc.

AJPTaylor · 10/05/2018 14:05

Honestly the very best thing to do now is book a first appt with a solicitor. Do not blink and take all the advice on board. Then you can stop and plan.

Original poster
Armywife47 · 10/05/2018 14:21

No not working for several, went back to work in 2014

OP posts:
WinterSunglasses · 10/05/2018 14:46

Is there a particular site for finding good divorce solicitors in a particular area? I need to do this. Sorry for jumping in OP.

mummmy2017 · 10/05/2018 14:51

Just done this for a friend....
He is stuffed. Don't think he can just keep it all ...àssass your still married a judge will give you more than half and the pension will be worth loads....

hellsbellsmelons · 10/05/2018 15:04

he is worried I will go for his pension
As he should be because you are entitled to it.
And why wouldn't you be?
What pension do you have?
None - why??? Because you were bringing up HIS children and allowing HIM to build up HIS pension.
Some of that (maybe half) is yours by rights.
You deserve it.
Do NOT allow him to tell you that you aren't entitled to it.
You are and quite rightly so.

Yes, you can go just for advice.
In fact some offer a free half hour.
Phone around and see if any in your area do that.
He will crap himself when he realises what you are entitled to.
Well done posting and not just listening to his crap.

mummmy2017 · 10/05/2018 15:32

The law changed recently... now judges go on needs.....
If enough money in the pot including inheritance he will use it to house you both.

Karigan1 · 10/05/2018 15:34

You are potentially entitled to part of his pension and obviously all matrimonial assets including I believe (but may be wrong on this) that inheritance. Seek legal advice ASAP

Dancingmonkey87 · 10/05/2018 18:50

It’s 2018 now so you been back in employment for 4years. Inheritance is completely different like pension to martial assets and it’s reviewed by a judge due to current circumstances it differs to each case.

www.bbc-law.co.uk/legal-news/inheritance-and-divorce/

Beaverhausen · 10/05/2018 22:28

OP you go for everything you are entitled too. It is not as if he has even thought about the impact all this would have on you.

I am pretty sure you would be entitled to some of the inheritance too.

Cawfee · 10/05/2018 23:08

A friend of mine recently got divorced. One child. She’s a SAHM and got a huge inheritance. Yes it does get consisted under marital assets. Absolutely you get a share of the pension. You must too as you’ve given up yours to raise the kids

Original poster
Armywife47 · 11/05/2018 11:45

I have now made an appointment with a solicitor, so hopefully speaking to them will stop my absolute panic

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 11/05/2018 11:48

Good, they will advise you. But yes he will be worried As you are entitled to a share of his pension

hellsbellsmelons · 11/05/2018 11:49

You don't have to panic.
What happens will happen.
But... you do need to get practical and find any paperwork you can and hide it to keep it safe.
Proof of anything is what you need.
Wage slips
Account info
Savings info
Mortgage info
Pension
Assets (cars etc...)

You need to do this fast.
In case he starts hiding money!!!

RB68 · 11/05/2018 11:51

Please chat to a few solicitors before deciding who to go with - the advice will vary widely - am helping a friend at the moment and we have gone from entitled to jackshit to 80% of 4 houses plus pension etc. She is disabled and unable to work and unlikely to work again due to disabilities so will also be looking for spousal maintenance as well as for child

Apileofballyhoo · 11/05/2018 11:53

Just wishing you best of luck. Fight for everything you can get.

Original poster
Armywife47 · 22/05/2018 13:09

I would like to thank you all for your help, the solicitor was great, letter received today by husband and he is livid, will let you all know how it pans out!!

OP posts:
ThePinkOcelot · 22/05/2018 13:35

Ahhh he’s livid is he?! Just thought you’d walk away with the clothes on your back did he?! Arse!
Don’t go for anything less than you’re entitled to OP.
How are you feeling otherwise? X

Newtothis2017 · 22/05/2018 14:41

Good to hear he is livid

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