Hello everybody!
A few years ago, my ex-partner cheated on me after three years of being together. I trusted him blindly with all his females friends and colleagues. Never minded him texting or being out at night. I still can't get over the fact that there were no red flags and I only found out by accident. I ended it immediately, but suffered extreme panic attacks, nightmares and fits of rage for months after.
Fast forward, I've been in a new relationship for two years now. I absolutely adore him, and count myself lucky that things happened the way they did.
However, my extreme jealousy is ruining me. Every time he mentions his female colleagues or texts them I get extreme physiological reactions, feeling sick to my and throat drying up and starting to shake. My counsellor has given me some coping techniques, but they work only to a certain degree.
I feel absolutely at mercy of my own emotions, without any control over it. It scares me and leaves him understandably hurt.
People say trusting gets easier after a while, but I find it's getting harder. My brain is desperately trying to find the red flags that I missed with my ex. Triggers are lurking everywhere, and some days it's hard to stay rational.
I don't recognise myself in this jealous b*tch and am aware how it affects our relationship.
Should I sit him down and talk him through what happened in my last relationship and how I lost my trust? We never talk about our ex partners, but I feel that I shouldn't be ashamed that this happened to me and how it still affects me.
Any advice of similar stories would be greatly appreciated! :)