Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh working late again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[joanna4]

I have just had a call from my hubby he is still at work and will be perhaps for a couple of more hours yet.
This will be third time this week and last weekend he spent most of time in front of laptop writing courses in.I am beginning to feel that we have no quality of life and I can feel the resent creeping in.Our 2 children are 12 and 10 I am sure they must be pigged off as well.He seems accepting that this is part of his work getting the job done but he started at 6.30 this morning and last night he was sent from work a survey about stress and working hours and he came out on a red warning my dad died young of stress related issues and I dont want this for our family now too.
Once he does arrive home once more it will be a quick break for tea then back on.I try to keep it on the level here and not crow off at him which is why I am typing my frustrations in here. He works for a huge well known energy company who only seem to have a handful of staff for the area he works in.Sorry to go on I can see us having nothing in common soon enough!
jo

Oh Jo, ditto, ditto, ditto I'm afraid. It's awful isn't it? DS's 1 and 2 are 4 and 2 years old and it's just not fair on them either. DH spends about 2 nights away each week and the rest of the time he's gone before we're awake and back after the boys are in bed. DH gets to be someone I remember I love rather than someone to share my life with. That's why I've started my Mini IQ business. In 18 months I've planned for it to be successful enough for me to be the breadwinner and I think of all the hard work whilst bringing up two boys without him as "buying back my husband".
Sorry, now I've gone on and on...

Thank heavens it isnt just me.Bizarrely I had my own business and gave it up as it was cutting in to family time too much.Now I work as school support but what good is 13 weeks holiday when much of it is spent with just me and the kids.Sorry for going on I am just a tad fed up.

if it's any consolation my DH works from Midmorning (roughly) until 9pm - gets back anytime from 9.30-10pm depending on where he's been that day.

When I was working (on Mat Leave at the moment) I was working 9.45pm-7am 3 nights (sometimes 4) a week so we hardly saw each other. DS1 only really gets to see DH properly at the weekends.........but we survive (and DH has had this job for 1 1/2yrs now)

I blame the "get on your bike" culture. If we hadn't had this drummed into us so hard we just wouldn't accept working conditions like this. Regardless of legislation, some families simply can't arrange family friendly flexible working.

We do sit down for dinner together at the weekends - and the DS's sit at the table (and I sit with them - although eat later) during the week

actually I chose to work nights - it works for us and with DH not having to leave until mid-morning (earliest) we both get a chance to have lie-ins (which we alternate on a daily basis) and if I've not worked (or as is the case atm I'm not working) the night before then we get to see each other in the mornings.

Another one here. DH is as we speak in america back at the weekend, last night he was back at 10pm, the night before was 4am. With him it seems to be all or nothing. He can do 9-5 for a while then suddenly it is 3 weeks of 4hour notice trips to the other side of the world, hopping of the train at the nextstop to catch the train back to the office, billing clients for the purchase of clean underwear because they have had to pull an all nighter. My freezer is full of his halves of cooked meals he never came home for. But what can you do?

DCs are 7 1/2 and 22 months

DH works around a 70 - 80 hour week

takes some adjusting to, but now i am in a routine, and can manage alone

has been like this since DS was a baby

i was resenting the amount of time he was at work, and i was feeling trapped, as just a mother, and jsut a wife and housekeeper

so i started training as a doula, i have organised all of it myself, i do not rely on him to help with it,it is my thing and i love it..and it gives me a focus other than the family and the house, and has certainly lessened the feeling of claustrophobia...

i am glad DH works hard having seen some posts on ehre, where the DH or DP does nothing, his hard work means i have been able to be a SAHM for 3.5 years
so it was my responsibility to do something about hte way i was feeling

I don't resent the way dh works (although am today as have a rotten head cold and could use the help), just hate the short notice change of plans/uncertainty of where in the world he could be tomorrow etc. Most of all I know that, although he loves his job and finds it rewarding/stimulating etc, it does leave very little time with the children (that was part of the reason I recently became a SAHM so that I could spend more time with them, so at least one parent was around).

lulu so glad the doula work is fitting in with your life, it really helps to do something.

[bump the meet thread please]

ok, wotz