How long does it take to get over someone

[Racmactac]

Just that really.

How long did it take you? Is there an average?

Wouldn’t have thought they’d be an average & a lot depends on mindset. Some would see the end as the wheels of life falling off, others would see it as the start of an exciting new chapter.

depends.... taking time and being kind to yourself... and when you can talk about 'them' and your 'time together' without feeling emotional.. you're healing

It depends on many things, in my experience mainly how long you'd been together.
The breakdown of a 20 year marriage with kids will take longer to recover from than a 6 week relationship.

Unfortunately usually about a year.

TWice as long in weeks as you'd spent together in years.

So a 2yr relationship you'd mourn for 4 weeks.

Tbh that's what I was told but I've spent far longer recovering from relationships than this suggests.

Definitely a year

Would depend on how intense the relationship, the reason for the breakup, how much support you have etc.

I was with my DP for 5 years. We split and I cried every day for 2 months. It wasn’t until I met up with him and we got back together that I spent a day without tears! I dread to think how long it would have taken me to get over him. I’ve read a month for each year, so in my case hopefully after 5 months, but with my XH of 12 years I was ready to date again within a couple of months.

I hope you are able to move on and don’t take too much of the heartache into your future

You don't always get over someone. If you genuinely loved them you may find they always hold a little piece of your heart. With time you learn to live with that. It has nothing to do with the length of the relationship. Focus less on "getting over" it and more on "getting on" with your life.

Context we were together 10 years with one baby. He cheated, broke my heart, married the OW, I had to start my life afresh.

I got to the year mark after splitting and thought "I'm going to have to make an effort to move on." So I made myself stop yakking on about my ex, focussed on stuff for me and my new life.

It's now 2 years post split. I'm in a much better place now. There's still a bit of hurt at being treated like shit and I'm not sure that will ever go. But when I think back to that first year when I couldn't sleep or think about anything else, life is so much better.

Thanks. I'm just feeling like I'll never be over it right now even tho it was me that ended it.

I don’t think the length of the relationship has any impact. It’s the intensity, the closeness, the involvement in life and the ups and downs you endure together that make it difficult. It took me years to get over my first boyfriend and now I am a month after my second and I am struggling again but probably not as bad.

I'll never be over my ex and have just resigned myself to it.
We're not in touch anymore, but I still think of her and miss her each day. It's been almost 2 years. Some people you love for life, even if you've had to go no contact with them. It kind of sucks but it is what it is.

half as long as you were with them in my experience.

I ended mine, well I gave an ultimatum..took me 2 years after a 3 year relationship. I was truly devastated, but it was definitely the right thing.

It’s hard OP, but you will survive