Hi all! Hope this is the right place to post this this! I’m a FT mum due in a few weeks. My own parents have been divorced now 20+ years due to my mum having an affair with her now partner who she has my 11 year old brother with. Due to me being fairly young when the divorce happened, I really have no grudges to bear re my mum’s relationship.
Anyway now my parent’s first grandchild is due to be born there are obviously events where both my mum’s and dad’s side’s of the family are invited to. I tried to test the waters by inviting my dad’s sister and Mum (my grandma) to my baby shower but both refused due to my mum being there. Although I was disappointed, I know a baby shower is not the end of the world but I’m worried for more important things such as christenings, birthdays etc. Part of me thinks I’ll just keep inviting everyone to everything and then it’s their choice, but when I told my dad he said I should not be inviting my mum’s partner of 20 years because he cannot stand to be in a room with him and it’s my dad’s grandchild, not his.
I can understand his anger but at the end of the day my mum has a child with her partner and they’ve been together for so long I feel like he deserves an invite! I’m not yet married so it will be the same story if and when I do. My dad will of course have all the father of the bride roles but I’d still like my step dad there as my mum’s partner and my brother’s Dad. Do you think i just need to tell my dad he will have to just grin and ignore him at future events or do you think he’s right and that I shouldn’t invite my step dad to things that my dad is at?