Has anyone's manchild husband successfully grown up?

[Eatsleepworkrepeat]

Usual story, I'm drowning in responsibility while husband merrily gets on with his hobbies, works a pretty low stress job and regularly "forgets" to put the bins out. I know it's as much my fault as his that I've let him get away with it, but is there any hope he can grow up and take responsibility like an actual adult? Or are my options a) live it with or b) ltb
We have the talk on about a monthly basis, he promises to try harder and tells me I just have to remind him (which is half of the fucking point, this isn't unpredictable shit that I somehow psychically know needs doing) but within 48 hours I'm the nagging shrew who's spoiling his fun. Please, any suggestions?

Tell him you want him to move out. He knows what the issues are and you don’t want to be mothering him as well as the kids.
If there’s any chance of him changing then the shock of your request will be the trigger.

thanks category12 for posting the glass by the sink link - I haven n't read it for a while, so it was good to read again. Just scrolling through the comments on it and I found this contribution very powerful as it indicates how emotionally deep this issue goes....hope this helps you OP.

"I respectfully invite you to go a little deeper
here. Partners never divorce because of a glass in the sink. Partners divorce because,”You’re not hearing me, you don’t listen to me, you don’t have my back, it is lonely living with you, it feels like I have another child instead of a loving supportive partner, my needs don’t matter to you etc etc…” All those critical attachment emotions being stomped on over and over are excellent reasons to consider divorce. Just like the author here beautifully says.
You might also consider reading Hold Me Tight, by Sue Johnson PhD for her 30 years of research on this very topic. It is an easy and wonderfully researched read!

eat I have no idea, maybe he has because now it's 'his' house and she's moved in and they've had a baby. But I really don't want to know because like you it would make my blood boil. I don't think they change though in the long run.

I love the idea of a do nothing month. Nothing for him. Zip. Zilch. Then if he notices just smile and say oh why didnt you remind me? And carry on doing jack.

Tatiana - I did the least amount possible once I realised he wouldn’t change. He didn’t change. The home was a filthy mess until I got to the point of being unable to live like this and would start the cleaning process. My ex was blind to it all.

I have since found a man that helps round the house and does the ironing!! There are good men out there:)

I don't think I changed him, I changed myself - The things that annoyed me with him not helping I got help in.
I then told him because I was paying for the help, I was no longer paying for nights out or treats.
I also act more assertively, things like 'I dont want to cook today, you'll have to do it or order takeaway' Hey presto, takeaway arrives!!

@rabbitrabbit12 snap, mine replaced me within weeks, after a 20 year marriage. The kids tell me ( I don't prompt them) that he does nothing and his new partner does everything.

Pah. I think these men who do feck all and aren't even the main breadwinner are pretty contemptible.