What is his agenda?

[stripesandspots10]

I met this guy OLD but he works at the same place as me. Different department and different floor so I've only seen him once before we started talking.
We got on really well and in a round about way he asked me out for a drink. We went for it and had a good night. Non stop talking. After the date he didn't ask me out on a 2nd but continued talking to me. So I asked him to do something. When iy came to the night before he said he felt ill and I felt he was making excuses so I jumped in and cancelled.
We didn't really speak much for about 3/4 weeks and then recently we have started messaging again. More so than before. He was really sweet and left me a big bar of chocolate in my locker for my birthday which was a nice gesture.

Yet he hasn't asked me out again. I'm confused at what his agenda is? Does he like me? Or does he want to be friends? I'm really confused.

Bump

He’s probably looking for a definite sign from you. Sometimes men are rubbish at reading them.

Well I thought stuff this and ive asked him to do something this weekend when I don't have my DS. His reply was in trying to get out of helping my friend this weekend, so this could be the perfect excuse. I'm guessing that's a yes Then! He is very confusing!

I've done OLD a few times. More often that not, men who appear to avoid actual meeting in real life are players or just not that serious about dating.
I always think, if he likes you enough he will make the effort. Doesn't sound like he's making much effort here tbh.

He's not exactly beating your door down, is he? I'd see if this weekend comes off, and leave it up to him afterwards. Obviously if he doesn't make it this weekend, just leave it.

No he's not that's why I'm a bit confused to why he is still going out of his way to message me and then leaving me the massive bar of chocolate.

That's a yes!

Maybe he likes the attention and has other irons in the fire? So he'd show a bit of interest to keep you hanging around, but not follow through because he's not that fussed and just likes the ego-boost. Some people are like that, particularly the online dating kind that act confusingly.

Not saying that's what is happening, but it's a possibility. I wouldn't put much weight on little gestures of attention if there's no follow up.

I would say he's not overly interested.
When men want to see you again they make dates and they invite you out.
You asked him out and he stuttered about it, I would let this one go.

Is he gay, maybe?

I don't know what his agenda is or even if he has one. He's hardly pulling out all the stops to woo you though and it should be quite clear to him that he's interested. If he makes the effort for this weekend take it from there but any reluctance or excuses I would take as clear evidence he's not interested but just doesn't know how to let you down gently.

I'd say he likes you as a friend but isn't interested in a romantic relationship. Working in the same building is an ideal set-up because he can be friendly without going down the dating route and leading you on. Sorry to have to say this, but he may be wary of getting involved with someone with a dc.

Or he could be really, really shy. Has he had many relationships before?

Or it might be working in the same place that's an issue. I'd be wary of dating colleagues, tbh.

Is he gay, maybe?

Gay men don't generally contact women on dating sites

I think he's not overly interested OP sorry. I also agree with a PP that finding out you are colleagues might have put him off.

When he first messaged me OLD he made a reference to the department I worked in as a joke so he knew we worked at the same place. However I don't think he knew I had a DC.
When he first asked me out it wasn't in a direct way it was more if I bet this and I win then I'll buy you a drink and if you win you buy me a drink. That's what happened and then we went for a drink.

He is quite a social person and likes to still go out for drinks with friends/work people so not sure about shyness. From his social media sites I can't see any evidence he has had a gf for a very long time.