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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Desperate

8 replies

hayclan · 08/05/2018 16:48

Hi All, Can anyone help/advise my daughter please? Basically 5yrs relationship with man & have a 5yr old daughter, my daughter lived with him all that time at his council flat, the property was condemned and eventually they were offered a accepted a lovely house (Council), tenancy in both names etc he then drops a bombshell saying he has met someone else & wanted my daughter & his daughter out the house!! he was livid when he was told by the council that he can't evict her etc (he has not a clue about equal rights sigh) she has phone recordings & screenshots of of his venomous words & threats & he is demanding rent from her as the H/B is paid in his name!! anyway my daughter refuses to speak to him so sent him a letter saying she will not be moving out & will move her daughter into her bedroom which they will occupy whilst she is there & buy her own food etc etc, his reaction to that was to throw everything she & his daughter own filled to capacity the smallest room with them, you cannot even enter the room & many things are broken, he has put locks on the other bedroom doors & stuck KEEP OUT on them, She has contacted Police for help who say it's a civil matter as he hasn't broken any laws therefore a Council matter as it comes under Anti social behaviour, Council said they can't do anything as they both have the tenancy. She is besides herself & doesn't know where to turn please can anyone advise asap, must also mention that she had to de-register her daughter from school & keep her away from him as every time he is with her he tells her how useless her mum is & how fab his new GF is, my daughter wants her child to attend school, it's all a big mess & something needs doing, she has contacted the CAB who told her to contact the Police etc but no one can/wants to help, can any you peeps help/advise us please? & thank you. x

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 08/05/2018 17:00

Can she come live with you? It sounds like a really bad environment for her and her baby

Aimingfor9stone · 08/05/2018 17:02

Agree with Shoxfordian. Have her come live with you. Even if it's cramped it won't be forever, and she and her DD will be safe.

sneakysneak · 08/05/2018 17:05

Please ask your daughter to contact Shelter for advice. I'm so sorry - what a prick. I don't think your daughter should move out as she may be able to get him out of the property.

CanIGetARefund · 08/05/2018 17:18

Please look on the Women's Aid website. Your daughter probably meets the criteria for survivor of domestic abuse. This would entitle her to specific help with the housing situation. There will be a link to the local domestic abuse service. They can support her with this. It's usually free to access this type of support. She may also be eligible for free legal representation.

springydaff · 08/05/2018 22:37

Yes, Women's Aid.

Also Shelter.

Your poor daughter Flowers

Cawfee · 09/05/2018 04:33

Contact these people
rightsofwomen.org.uk

What an awful situation. She really needs legal advice. Surely the council have a duty to do something. She should call the police again. If he’s restricting her and the daughters right to move freely in their home then that can’t be right.

Beaverhurdle · 09/05/2018 05:00

I would persist with the council and make sure they know in no uncertain terms that this man is threatening and abusive - also ensure the police LOG the threats (texts etc) and tell the council such. Don't minimise, tell them what NEEDS to happen - that this man is rehoused elsewhere.

Beaverhurdle · 09/05/2018 05:00

keep a diary of everything nasty he does...

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