Husband is making me want an abortion

[Namechangedtoscream]

Our fights are constant and they go pretty much like this:

Him: I'm sick of the mess in this house it's a complete state. You need to stop being such a hoarder and throw your stuff out all that in that cupboard is useless get rid of it. You're lazy and don't do any housework even though you work from home. You never supported me with going self employed and know how much I hate being back in employed work how dare you not support me. You want all this stuff doing round the house and have no idea how to pay for it. All you do is whinge and now all you do is whinge and have a bump to add to it.

Me: I would love to do more but given my disabilities and now being over 20 weeks pregnant (having had hyperemesis) and still working full time I'm afraid I can only apologise for not pulling my weight. However while you were out of work I have been saving hard and we can afford the house renovations. I'm sorry you didn't feel supported however neither do or did i. You were horrible to live with the business didn't succeed despite you spending 4 years on it and you brought no income in as declared at the end of each year. Sorry my patience wore thin with it.

Repeat ad nauseam

Only. I've now stopped fighting back. His attacks have now become very personal attacks about me and not about my housewife duties. He now talks to me more with hate than love and I'm sick of it.

We had a number of miscarriages leading to this pregnancy and now I really wish this had been another one to add to the list. I don't want to be tied to him for the rest of my life which even if i left I would be.

You can lead a seperate life as a seperate parent. Many do it.

It’s your choice at the end of the day

He's horrible. You could live separately, couldn't you? I'd live on the opposite side of the world!

You should terminate him, he's vile.

This sounds like a much longed for child and a despicable husband. I think you realise that his behavior is abusive and he needs to go. Do you have supportive friends /family?

I’d definitely end the relationship if that’s a routine conversation with him. I wouldn’t live like that. You obviously can’t termi now so you will be permanently stuck with a connection to him (assuming he bothers with the child, which is not a dead very judging by your description of the way he talks about it), but you don’t have to remain married to him.

*terminate - I’m not sure where the rest of that word went!

*dead cert not dead very. I give up.

Agree with other he sounds awful and if he thinks the house work has slipped now what will he be like when there is a child making mess

If you are planning on leaving, leave now. It will be much harder with a baby and on maternity leave. If you go now, you are still employed for credit checks for rental agreements etc.

You can move anywhere you want whilst pregnant and he cannot stop you, including overseas.

Whereas you could be stopped once you have his child here.

So go now, to where your friends and family are and get some support. Leave him, he sounds horrible and EA/VA.

Stop the house renovations if you can don't invest anymore at the moment.

He needs to step up if he's not working if he thinks things are messy now just wait until a baby is in the mix

You obviously can't abort at this stage in your pg so if he isn't going to change what are you going to do to change things?

Over 20 weeks pregnant and you've only just realised your relationship is too toxic to continue the pregnancy? Whilst it's your body and your decision and no one should stop that, I'd think long and hard about separation or adoption before termination at this stage. Your husband is an arse. Kick him out instead.

Christ. You need to abort the husband, not a defenceless unborn child.

Get rid. Don't see him. Tell him you lost the baby ( I would) and then don't name him on the birth certificate. Job done.

I wouldn't want to be linked to this dickhead either.

He sounds awful, leave him.