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Original poster

Wasting my time?

16 replies

Cocolocco · 07/05/2018 22:08

Hi guys so I’ve just joined as I need advice about a guy. I’m 33 he’s 41. I’ve known him around 6 months, he goes to my gym. I got to know him only Briefly at first, we would have little ten min gym chats each day, then I made it clear my intentions and he told me he had a gf (he never mentioned her before) so I stepped away but remained chat buddy’s. A week later he asked to meet me for a coffee as he needed advice, he basically said his gf and him haven’t been good for a while and he wants to break up with her how should he do it?!!! So another week passed and he broke up and we went on a few dates. I found out at his age he had NEVER been love, never lived with a gf and never been even engaged etc. I was shocked but not put off as we got on well and we’re having fun. I then had to go abroad for a month with work, we texted daily, he said he misses me etc then slowly I stopped replying so fast (out of sight out of mind and all that) I came home and broke it off over the phone but a few days later I saw him in gym and seeing him again made me want him so I said that I regretted what I said. He replied with “well you probably did it at the right time I’m so busy atm but when I’m not so busy we can def go back out” so we remained chat buddy’s and I thought a week or two would pass and he’ll ask me on a date- nope! It’s been a month, we see each other daily in gym and flirt a bit. I then went to dinner and cinema with a Male friend and he would have seen this on my Facebook, then the next day He texts me saying he misses my cuddles. I said me too and still no date. He asked me the last two days What I’m doing in the evening and when I replied nothing I thought he’d ask me out as he too said he has nothing on but nope. Just two evenings of texts to and fro. What’s going on ? Any ideas. X

OP posts:
ThisIsTheFirstStep · 07/05/2018 22:09

If you want to go on a date, ask him. You’re the one who ditched him in the first place.

What’s the issue?

HollowTalk · 07/05/2018 22:14

Oh god, don't bother with this bloke! He's too hard work and frankly I don't think he's worth it.

Original poster
Cocolocco · 07/05/2018 22:15

I did ask..After I said I regretted what I said and he said he is busy anyway so probably good timing that I ended it he said when he’s not so busy we will def go out.. I then invited him to the cinema to see a film we spoke about recently he said he would love to go soon but yet made no plans.

OP posts:
TokenGinger · 07/05/2018 22:17

He’s probably rekindling things with his ex he fired off for you, but is keeping you on the back burner in case she doesn’t take him back.

Sack him off, OP.

Original poster
Cocolocco · 07/05/2018 22:20

They were only together a few months but I did wonder that too. Esp as it appeared when he saw me on what’s possibly a date he said he missed me but nothing until that point. And maybe asking if I’m busy this week to see if there’s a second date and not because he wants to see me. That’s what I been thinking.

OP posts:
sunsetheaven · 07/05/2018 22:24

Ah forget him! As pp said, he sounds like hard work. Too many red flags already. Ans if he were really interested, he would be asking you out, taking you out etc. Not a reflection on you though. Think you've dodged a bullet!

GeordieGirl233 · 07/05/2018 22:26

To be honest if it was a case of "out of sight out of mind" I don't see how you could've been that bothered about him anyway?

Original poster
Cocolocco · 07/05/2018 22:28

At the time when I was away I didn’t think I was. I was in Oz on a completely different time zone and extremely busy working so we were like passing ships with texts it just kind of dwindled

OP posts:
naebotherpal · 07/05/2018 22:28

He’s sounds like a player, but you sound a bit like you like the chase most of all yourself.

Isadora666 · 07/05/2018 22:32

You don't really seem that arsed about each other. I'd just let it fizzle out and restrict contact to hello/goodbyes if you see him.

Original poster
Cocolocco · 07/05/2018 22:42

I think you’re all right. He knew I was free and said he was too and clearly was, as spent all night texting me so if he really wanted to take me out he would. He knows I will say yes because I told him I wanted to go back out. I’ll have to just try and forget it and move on. Thanks all I kind of knew what I needed to do but I just had to have it confirmed as I do like him quite a lot and didn’t want to have read it wrong- but I don’t think we have.

OP posts:
TooTrueToBeGood · 07/05/2018 22:46

He's not interested. If he was he would make an effort. Not to say he won't have a snack if you serve it to him on a plate but that's not going to make you happy in the long term.

minimalpatience · 07/05/2018 23:14

If he was genuinely interested, you'd know.

Chippyway · 08/05/2018 00:35

I think you’re both as bad as each other

He broke up with his girlfriend but was already going out on dates and seeing you? You sound like a rebound...

And if I’m genuinely interested in somebody “out of sight out of mind” wouldn’t even exist. It’d make me miss them.

Singlenotsingle · 08/05/2018 00:44

He's just teasing you. Having a bit of fun at your expense

SoapOnARoap · 08/05/2018 07:50

I think his behaviour if bordering on taking the piss. He’s really not interested in you.

Move on, you can do far better

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