How can I stop being so immature & pathetic?

[MrsElijahMikaelson]

Name changed for this..im a long time lurker.

Basically I had a son a few months ago, my first and very wanted child. Took years to conceive and we had fertility treatment.

You would think I'd be happy and content but no, I just keep whinding myself up.
My son wasnt my parents first grandchild, their very close to my nephew and practically bring him up.

My DS was DPs parents first grandchild. His mum,dad and sister were a lot more excited over DS than mine and absolutely adore him.

Just found out, DPs younger sister is pregnant. She'll be living with her mum with the baby.
Now his mum will have a grandchild whom she lives with and see everyday. She sees DS once/twice a month due to distance.

Im not just really paranoid that DS will get pushed out and they're not excited to see him as they were. It makes such a change from my parents who obsess over my nephew.
Im trying to be happy but just im just down and miserable. I know im being totally stupid but cant get a grip on how im feeling.

You're not being stupid. Your DS is the most precious person in your life right now and you want all his family to feel the same.
Your 'SIL' will probably think that her mum favours her cousin because she sees less of him.

It's ok to feel a bit insecure. Are DP and his parents supportive? When the pregnancy is a bit further along, could you say that you really appreciate their attention to him, given that your parents haven't had as much time for him?

They will have a different relationship with the baby who lives with them, but it may well still be complicated.

What I mean is, the dynamics of parenting and grand parenting are different. There may be tensions in that relationship which are absent in yours.

I know the relationship will be different, and they say people love your grand children the same but do they really?

I just dont want ds to be pushed out and unfortunately i think thats whats going ti happen. Dps mam will see the baby every day and its her daughter's baby.
Its a shame for DS

You seem so certain this will happen! What makes you think that OP?

And you're not immature or pathetic 😊

@tallwivglasses ....no idea! Just they say nannas are closer to their daughters children as children tend to see their maternal grandmother more.
I just feel with a grandchild living with her, she won't get excited to see DS as much

I think that would make her more excited to see your son. The 'daughter' preference is a bit of a myth I think. Please try and be positive - your SIL would probably value your advice and appreciate your support - don't let your worries drive you away from an imagined situation that might not even happen.

It's surely good for your dc that you don't have an overbearing mil overstepping your boundaries etc.
Enjoy your dc and the peace I say.

They won't stop adoring him, and the cousins will be able to play together. Focus on building that relationship, rather than worrying about your LO being pushed out. You need to show a bit of excitement about the new arrival though- offer to lend her clothes and equipment your DS no longer needs. Cultivate the relationship instead of fearing it.