Can I talk to DP about his DCs behavior?

[JustOneApple]

Nc.

My DP has two DC. I have a very good relationship with them. They are great kids.

I'm on my own with them a fair amount of time when he has errands to run / I take them out to the park etc...

I've been contemplating bringing up his youngests manners with him as I really feel he needs to have a proper talk with them about it.

His eldest is polite and I feel my partner and his ex are definitely harder on him than the youngest. Because of this, DC2 has absolutely zero manners. He never says please or thank you and pretty much just demands thinks i.e. 'get me a drink'. I try to do what I can like I say 'what do you say' and he will then say please as if it's some great task but I don't feel my partner really addresses it properly by having a proper chat about it with them.

Can I ask my partner to have a talk with DC2? I feel as though it isn't really my place but at the same time from a (sort of) outsiders view DC2 comes across very rude sometimes and I do care about them and want to make sure it isn't carried on into older life.

How do I bring it up with him without sounding overly critical?

Just for clarity DC2 is coming up to 7yo and so I think it isn't unreasonable to expect them to have decent manners? DC1 is only a year older and is very polite.

I think it’s fair to bring it up; I’d go quite lightly with it in case he gets defensive and maybe start with saying DC1 is so well behaved and has such manners and it’s made me notice that DC2 doesn’t often say please and can demand things, was DC1 like that or do you think you need to speak to him/address it?
If he gets defensive I’d back off and leave him to form his own opinion.
It’s tricky to bring something up about people so children but as you’re essentially a step parent you need to be able to

If He trusts you enough to leave the kids in your care... when running errands.. then I'm sure He'll understand you're in a position to have an opinion ... Just be honest... He might not like it of course.. but that's neither here nor there... it's better coming from you than school etc

Thanks both.

He does ask for my opinion on things with them so I do hope he would be accepting of this if I were to bring it up.

I feel like step parenting is a bit of a juggling act with what you feel does and doesn't over step 'the line'.

We are trying for our own baby at the moment so I do want to be in a position where I'm able to treat them all equally (to an extent I know I'll never be their mother).

I might try and bring it up gently later on and see how it goes.