Found out my husband was texting other woman

[houseproudme]

So my husband was cooking last night. And his phone was charging and was on silent. I saw his phone light up and saw a call with a woman's name. I asked him who it was and he said it's work so I said 'maybe you should call back it might be important' he walked out, got into his car and drove off. And hasn't been back since. He text me saying the girl was really a girl he met and was just texting and chatting to her and it's all my fault because I'm difficult to live with. He gets to start a new life whilst I'm left a single mum struggling with kids and I was a SAHM so I don't know what will happen now as there is no way I can get a job right now with all the childcare costs, no family to help all on my own. We got some tax credits based on his wage but will I still be able to claim this or will i have to claim universal credit? We have more than 3 kids so would the 2 child rule apply to me if I change my claim ( even though the kids were born before April 2016?)

And how do single mums cope with feeling lonely and all be practical stuff. He used to cook things for the kids I have never been able to cook so I'm worried I won't get that right. I'm just worried for that future. I really loved him.. been together 13 years and now i don't know what to do

He is setting a terrible example of how adult relationships work and how the ones you supposedly love should be treated.

Would this be good enough for any of your children? What would you think if your child’s partner treated them this way? It wouldn’t be good enough for them, and it certainly isn’t good enough for you.

Take a look at ‘Stop Walking on Eggshells’. It was hugely useful to me in recognising that the blame was not mine. Counselling gave me the strength to believe in myself and set my boundaries.

I'm so sorry OP.
He's done a right number on you.
None of what you describe about your relationship is normal.
Hard to hear and understand but that is the truth.
He sounds like an abusive bully.
Please do call Womens Aid 0808 2000 247.
You will need to keep trying but they can help you see this for what it is.
I was really very sad reading you latest update.

He wants to text other women.

His list of 'conditions' and changes that he knows will be difficult for you to abide by (not that you should!) to stop him texting other women are just a coward's way of eventually 'justifying' his despicable actions.

I think he didn't think i would find out.. and now I have he thinks he can use all this to controle me and change me. I don't know where to start. Can my GP help? Or am I wasting his time ?

what have your previous interactions with your GP been like?

Theres a huge amount out there who will minimise abuse because it'll cost the NHS far too much.

Take him up on his offer and tell him to leave! The reason you’re feeling all these mental health issues is because of him! Read the responses, EVERYONEis telling you your relationship isn’t normal and he’s a prick

Your all right.. everything you all say is correct, I know now he's abusing me, it's too me so long to realise it. But I do now. But I don't know where to start. I only have one real friend, she used to have kids i my school but she moved far away with her kids and I think she's amazing, she is so strong and takes her kids everywhere and copes great.. but when I look at myself I see myself as weak and don't thinking could cope, I'm so scared of taking that jump... how do I get over that I'm so sad

I think you may find your self esteem in the future. He sounds like a major contributor to it being low! There is no easy way to suddenly have to do things alone, but you can, and you will, and you will be able to feel very good about that.

No practical advice as I havent been in your position, just trust that better things are to come, because he sounds like a grade A arsehole.

He's an abusive cheat. You'll be absolutely fine on your own. You will enjoy happier, your self esteem will skyrocket and you're so young Taht you've got a whole life ahead of you.

Reading your post made me feel so angry and sick to the stomach to think a man can treat a woman like this. He sounds totally disgusting to be constantly threatening you , 'do this or I'll contact another woman' it sounds practically inhuman.

You a worth a billion times what he is and trust me and other posters who are saying you don't need this scum sucker in your life. Pleeeeeese get rid of him.

No one should be treated like you have. Being a single parent will be a breeze compared to living with a controlling twat. ⚘

This isnt normal. This is abuse. He is a disgrace. You need to not be in a relationship with this abuser.

I'm in bits. I went though his bank statements ( call it gut instinct) and found out he sent money to a woman. He sent her £20. He said he borrowed it her coz he felt sorry for her because she needed her for her kid....he's st work overnight and I'm here in bits