Been with H for 8 years. Has been up and down throughout relationship. We have a 6 year old and I'm 28wks pregnant.
We went through a breakup this time last year for a couple of wks but decided to get back together and work it out. Goes out with his friends sometimes every weekend and sometimes goes 2 months without gong out but still says I'm controlling. Break up was due to his going out and a kiss with another woman. Still decided to work through it.
Anyway things were good for a few months and we decided to continue with trying for a 2nd.
Just before I was 3 months pregnant we we through some arguments and I contemplated if an abortion was wise but realised it was my hormones and emotional state and talked myself back to reality. Things called down but a month later again arguments which actually spurred on anxiety and a very bad night of self destructive thoughts but again reality of needing to be there for my 6 year brought me back into normality.
A month ago OH starts a quiet and withdrawn process. Didn't want to talk about it saying everyone has moments of not being themselves. Had a very bad affect on me as he'd been feeling bump and we'd been buying stuff for baby and all of a sudden he wouldn't touch me or bump and wouldn't be emotional. Mot even talking to me when I arrived home. He's a stay at home dad. I tried to cope though the tears as he was just maybe a bit depressed and stressed of being at home etc. He was going out most weekends but still saying I was controlling.
Then he says he's taking a trip to visit a cousin he grew up with in Europe which he hasn't seen for 13 yrs they were like brothers. I said baby is due in 3 months and we have so much to buy including finishing DIY t's probably
Not the best time. I suggested he wait until summer when his cousin is planning on being here and save some money to take him out and about or a weekend around the UK showing his cousin around. He was set on it and mother in law suggested just let him get on with it he's depressed and just needs to clear his head and have some time away. I was annoyed considering last summer the whole family went overseas to visit this cousin and he didn't want to come with us instead insisted on staying back doing up the bathroom. There were about 10 of us that went and was my son's first holiday. OH is not fond of hols and everyone I've suggested says it's just a waste of money for 2 wks away when instead we can have something such as an expensive furniture piece that will last us 10 yrs. I used to travel 3 times a year before being married so it's been an adjustment for me and was my first holiday also but I felt it was important for my son to enjoy sun and beach and he absolutely loved it. Anyway decided to shut up and put up with it despite him not offering to take us.
On several occasions before he left I asked are you trying to break up cause if you are just tell me straight and I'll have to learn to deal with it and he said he's just having some time where he's not himself.
I all with him on Thurs first thing am when he arrived everything seemed ok. His mum also spkwith him on fri and he son with our son then. He tried to call.me Fri but I was working and when i called him back no answer. He called me sat 2x but phone was off no battery I called him back 20 mins after and no answer. I called him back twice more and nothing. I text him all emotional and said this proved you're not missing me as you're not really bothering to keep in touch. He text back in the morning saying yes he's missing us. So me and our son wanted to talk and called him at 3 different points yesterday and no answer. By the evening I was frustrated and fed up and emotional and text him saying bullshit he missed us he hasn't spoken with me or son in days that he has time for having fun and yet can't take 5 mins to check in with us. He text back saying about no internet which is bull as it's Europe and I myself last year was in constant daily contact several times a day in all parts of that city on both normal phone and text and internet. Also his cousin has phone and all our numbers so hardly were unreachable. By the time he tried to call back I was so fuming and with 2% battery and couldn't answer. He text saying I'm cutting off his calls and we had some stern exchanges. I text him saying he's obviously wanting to lead a single lifestyle out there and is having so much fun he can't muster 5 mins of his day to speak to us and that he might as well not come back and that id give him the divorce he was joking about with his friends so much before he left.
He didn't text back. At 1am I text as my 6 year old was awake and crying for his dad. I asked him to call his mum to day who's staying with us and spk with his son who was historical and missing him. He did call him today and his mum had a his t him saying what is he playing at he has a pregnant wife and kids and not answering his phone what about if I was at hospital or something (1st pregnancy was complicated with preeclampsia) his excuse was that he had tried to call and I hadn't answered and she said himself bullshit cause we both have been calling you back and you flat out didn't answer (normally phone glued to his hand).
Anyway I'm sorry for the essay. I feel frustrated and fed up. I know I've been patient and even one of his girl cousins said yesterday I don't know how you put up with all his shit.
I'm now at the most lonely place and so depressed I can't stop crying. I feel let down at my most vulnerable point and don't know anymore whether I'm right in walking away once and for all or whether I'm being stupid. I earn a pretty good wage but we spend it all and have no savings so the furniture for baby will now have to go on credit cards that's stressing me too I hate borrowing on credit. Am I being stupid and emotional?