Are we doomed?

[Anony123]

My partner and I have been arguing a lot recently. We are both young and have a 7 month old. We have been together 2 years.

Basically we argue a lot. We both feel we have to tip toe around each other these days as we are both short tempered. I am a very emotional person so take offense to everything and he is very opinionated and I feel like I can’t do anything right. We both love each other but it’s getting so hard. Every time we try to talk about deep things we argue. It’s always you do this and you do that. If I don’t agree with his opinions it’s wrong and he puts me down. If he isn’t sorry about something but it has upset me and he doesn’t think he has done anything wrong I’m not okay with him until he apologizes so we both have a lot of issues that need working on. We snap at each other a lot and are very hard on each other so it’s constant. I’m really struggling but I love him and want to make it work. But then I get In moods were everything he does annoys me, like the way he eats, the way he always puts his legs on mine when we cuddle and I get so irritated to easlily. It’s exhausting!

We live with my family and he gets so funny when anyone does anything with our lo. My family feel like they have to be careful that they don’t overstep because we are so prticular about things but I feel the reason I am particular about a lot of things is because he is and I just want to avoid arguments. It’s not fair when all the time I feel like I have to think about how would he feel about a situation before doing something with my own daughter. Like if someone asks to feed her I have to think will he get annoyed. I hate it. I just don’t know what to do anymore

Is it possible for you to move out and get a place of your own? It must be hard to have a baby, be a grown up but lack that autonomy over your own/your childs life by effectively living under someone elses roof and following their rules.

If moving out is not an option could you plan a few child free nights? Going for a meal and doing something fun, crazy golf, bowling etc. You could meet in a neutral environment to talk, so you can speak freely without worrying your family will hear.

It sounds like the main issue for him is control, which you just wouldn't have if you lived alone. Assuming he is a respectful, good boyfriend I would see how it goes after you move out. I have no children yet but I'm sure it would be difficult having people constantly making suggestions, asking to do this and that when you want to do your own thing.

However, if he isn't willing to speak with you and isn't making the same effort you are then you may have no option but to call it a day. I know a baby changes things but it shouldn't be this hard and you shouldn't be miserable.

Good luck!

By my reckoning that means you got pregnant when you'd been together for less than a year, so sadly it sounds like a case that you had a baby before you properly knew each other.

What was the relationship like before you got pregnant? Did you live together then?

OP - look into couples counselling- you just both have things you need to work through - you will discover a lot about each other that’s become tangled in misunderstanding, resentment and a clash of backgrounds I think. It has to be worth a try if you love each other.?

Thank you all so much for the replies. We are signing for an apartment today and feel it will really help. There are just too many people under one roof and I feel it is too much for him and it annoys me too