Very long story short: abusive XH currently not seeing our two DC. I’ve told him to seek a legal arrangement. There’s many reasons for this but one of my issues is that he keeps introducing them to every new GF (8 in the space of 2 years) he meets before the relationship is properly established. Some of these women are well known drug and alcohol abusers (small town, everyone knows everyone).
For a time, I was working with his sister to help him be a better parent. Ultimately it didn’t work because she has no real influence on him and actually panders to his shitty parenting. We had some harsh words at the time I finally stopped contact.
She recently got back in touch asking if she could see the DC and I think I surprised her by saying no problem. She assured me that XH wouldn’t be there however, they came home and told me not only had he been there, he’d brought along his new girlfriend. She made out like he just turned up (public place) but he messaged me to say ‘thanks for letting me see them’ so I think it may have been arranged.
My trust has been breached. Even though I promised ex-SIL that I wouldn’t stop them having a relationship, I feel like a line has been crossed and I should say no next time she asks. I don’t want her to act as a back door to access, I want him to get a proper court order. Just wanted to check what others think of this? I know I’m going to be enemy no. 1 all over again but I’m sick to death of these people walking all over me.