Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Need some advice about ending a relationship..

6 replies

MrsCullen0 · 06/05/2018 22:16

My boyfriend and I have been together for several years, only a couple more serious. When we're together he drives me mental. I have kids that aren't his. He spends very little time with me and my kids, the time he does is usually spent on his phone or laptop playing games. He doesn't clean up after himself when he stays with me.. he rarely spends quality time with me, and even less so with me when I have the kids. I'm working away on a temporary contract at the moment so the kids stay with their dad and I don't see boyfriend until the weekend, when I do he spends every Saturday out with his friends, he makes plans for Friday's often, and also makes plans for Sunday's regularly (without me). I get maybe an evening (at home) and a Sunday morning (at home) of his time. We don't have a sexual relationship at all, and I don't sleep well with him because he snores. I do everything for him - his washing, drive him to work when I'm home, drive him around, cook etc. Overall I get very little from a relationship that I feel I put a lot into, so today I broke up with him. Not for the first time.

The problem is that as soon as I break up with him I feel immediate guilt and regret for my decision and so I end up "working things out". Suddenly I feel like I adore him, but when we're "together" I just feel constant resentment and anger. I'm really confused. Am I right to break up with him? We've been here a few times and he always talks me round. The last time he really did turn it around, I felt valued and cared for and all the things I wanted from him. It lasted about a month. Is this just what relationships are? Am I expecting too much?

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 06/05/2018 22:21

You've got into a pattern. He knows he'll weedle his way back in. So you have to be strong and determined that this time it's over.

SandyY2K · 06/05/2018 22:27

I'm assuming you're both happy with the sexless relationship.

Just tell him it's not working for you and wish him well for the future. Ask him not to contact you...as you need some time to yourself.

MrsCullen0 · 06/05/2018 22:29

I'm definitely not happy with it. It's something he initially said he would work on, but I think it was just a lie to get me to stop talking about it and eventually he stopped even saying he would try to work on it.

OP posts:
redastherose · 06/05/2018 22:32

This is a rubbish relationship from your point of view. While you are in a relationship with him you will keep repeating this pattern and it isn't good for you. End it and mean it, he is taking a lot from you and by the sound of it giving little or nothing back. If you stay apart then you have a chance of moving on and finding that person who will love and appreciate you and won't treat you like this.

MrsCullen0 · 06/05/2018 22:41

The feelings I have for him are just so confusing.

But I feel better. I think it's probably the initial loss of relationship that leaves me feeling guilty or regretful. :)

OP posts:
Fuckwithnosensesauce · 07/05/2018 00:37

Goodness me! You don't even have any sex in the equation.End this now, today. You are stuck in a rut and your maternal instincts have taken this pathetic chick under your wing with your children! Tbh i don't think you are doing him (or yourself, more importantly) any favours. Kick him out there and tell him to get a life. This is the perfect time to get rid, being as you work away- tell him you need to focus on your children now you are away so much. Lazy man, literally good for absolutely nothing!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread