Lonely bank holiday

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Separated for just over a year and just coming to realise how lonely single life can be. I haven’t spoken to another adult bar shop assistants/waiters all weekend, I’ve got nothing to do and nobody to do it with - none of my friends are local and all are busy anyway. I’ve got my lovely DD here and have made an effort to do things with her - bbq, walk in the park, dinner out etc - but she’s got a friend over now and would like me to make myself scarce I think.

Sat here crying at the waste of a beautiful day with no work tomorrow, feel so sad 😢

I feel similarly. Normally exP and I would be getting ready to go abroad around this time. It’s hard feeling like you don’t have anybody special to spend these warm days with. I’ve been sitting in the garden in the sun but it’s not the same.

I don’t have any advice but wanted you to know you’re not alone in how you feel.

I understand too. Its easy to say go out and about but everyone is in big groups of family and friends and it's not the same alone.

Oh OP! Don’t cry, and don’t think of it as a waste. Think of it as the day you decided to make some changes and broaden your social circle. I assume your DD isn’t a little kid? So get a hobby and get out and meet people! Start an evening class. Make plans for the next bank holiday to go and visit one of your friends?

Yep same here, lovely weather & got a good book & a large G&T lined up for later but apart from walking my dogs all on my own. Loads of things I COULD do but they’re all things it’s more fun doIng with someone else. I don’t want to be that sad person in their own in a public place !

I can understand where you are coming from. Separated 20 months, no children, and I still find it hard. I’m planning weekends like these on more detail now and make sure I have one little social thing each day. Even if it’s just a quick coffee with someone. It’s hard though as all my friends have family and/or partners. I am getting quite ruthless though at just tagging along to things

for you!

I couldn’t possibly go out and about today. I would see loved-up couples and families everywhere and feel sick.

I think it’s easy to feel like everybody is out having a fantastic, care-free time because the sun is out and it’s a bank holiday weekend, but the reality is almost certainly quite different.

Dory, à large G&T and a good book sounds perfect!

It is difficult isn’t it? I live in Devon and all my usual hangout spots are going to be full of families and couple. It’s very easy to just stay at home but I always feel worse when I do.

Same here, and this weekend is even worse as I am trapped indoors with a 5yo who has chickenpox. I'm stir crazy, it's glorious outside and even a trip to the corner shop sounds as good as a fun day out at this point!

@LeChat Same. Single for 3.5 years, 3DC, I have all 3 this weekend (eldest 2 at ExDPs EOW, toddler is always with me as ExH isn’t around). It still feels like a gut punch on Bank Holidays, Easter, summer, Christmas. ExH was an abusive tosser so my life is miles better without him, I often wonder how I’m ever going to find someone again, and I’m not arsed right now but it still sucks.

OP do you have any single parent friends? I have a few and we sometimes do things together, it helps combat the loneliness.

It's not as easy as 'get a hobby.'

What hobbies are there on a Sunday bank holiday?

I didn’t mean get a hobby just for bank holidays! I meant to meet new people and have more options to socialise with them on bank holidays

I know what you mean. Boxing day was the worst for me when the DCs were at their dad's.

This weekend is not so bad, with the nice weather. Doing some gardening and just relaxing in the garden with a drink and a book.

I agree with Bluedotspink. I have plenty of hobbies, and was even supposed to be playing in a team event today but was swapped out for the team captain a few days ago. Totally out of my control. My children are 21 and 17. The 21yo is doing college assignments, and they don't want to be socialising with their mum anyway. And to be frank, I need adult company. I've been messaging a friend but she's off to lunch with another friend of hers now. Everybody I know is coupled up, has plans. I have plenty to do during the week, but weekends are mostly rubbish. I'm currently sipping a coffee under the parasol, and contemplating washing the car...

I understand OP. Home in middle of nowhere. My children are with ex. It's a lonely life.

Finding new friends who are free on bank holidays really isn't that simple!

Socialising with friends met at clubs doesn't work in that way. Sorry to sound harsh but it just doesn't. One of my clubs has a WhatsApp group. A friend posted a possible cinema outing on it, I was the only one who responded...

Those of you without kids could you have a look on meet up? See if there's anything you fancy doing there? I was in exactly the same place as you and it's taken some guts to go to a meet up for the first time but hopefully onwards and upwards now

Socialising with friends who don't have partners, children and their own families r spend Bank Holidays with is pretty difficult.

*It's not as easy as 'get a hobby.'

What hobbies are there on a Sunday bank holiday?*

I see this with so many of my single, lonely friends (I am single but not lonely). Why is it seen as so bad to stay at home? There are plenty of hobbies that can be done solo, and at home. I dont understand this pressure people feel to go out to have fun. I’ll be sitting in my garden this afternoon with a good book, I much prefer that to a crowded park. I do a lot of arts and crafts based stuff. I’m learning a language. I literally dont have enough hours in the day to spend on my hobbies given that I work full time. For me, having an extra day off tomorrow is bliss.

You cant always change your circumstances but you can change your mindset. I know because a few years ago I also sat there on a bank holiday crying because I was lonely. I think when you come out of a relationship your left with a lot of spare time and emotional energy that was previously being used on said relationship. People need to funnel those energies into something else or they will be bored and lonely.

Untimatley there are many things to do both inside and outside of the home. You just need to discover which ones bring you joy.

Thanks all and sorry so many of you feel the same. Just don’t know what to do - I can’t even sit in my garden cos DD and her (boy?)friend are out there so I’m stuck inside wondering how the hell my life has ended up like this. We get so few bank holidays, nice ones even less so, and I’m just gutted not to be doing anything - I’m not lacking in friends but don’t have anyone nearby and they’re all coupled up anyway. I just miss so much having someone to talk to and spend time with, would never get back with ex but don’t know howcthe he’ll to move forward.

I feel the same. I'm spending it all alone too apart from my dog. My DD is at her dads. I have no friends who live nearby and my family only look out for themselves. Lonliness is awful.

Not everybody has a garden.

No I know, I’m being really self indulgent but loneliness has a habit of blinding you to all the other good things in your life.

You're not being self indulgent.