Evening all,
I'm been married for 4 years together 6 and we have a son who is 3.
Been having problems for a while now our second attempt at counselling.
I feel as though our marriage is seriously failing despite efforts to try to save it. I should say early on that my husband is a great father and a provider. He lacks empathy and intimacy and I am often felt feeling lonely as result. have tried speaking with him but I constantly feel misunderstood.
He is a high earner and helps around the house but is borderline OCD so has exceptionally high expectations which doesn't go too well with my relaxed attitude to life. When we met there didn't seem to be any problems but on hindsight things moved very quickly and before long our son arrived.
I don't feel like his equal and he constantly outs me down and says I'm unorganised and lazy. I suppose I expect more from marriage or a partnership. There is a huge lack of intimacy and Think that's where the problems started after our first son. When I have tried to address it he has backed off and we are now in the state we are. Not had sex for three months. I have tried to arrange a baby sitter. All difficult with no family around but it usually ends up in a row so it's not worth it.
Just back from holiday and when I tried to approach the subject when both relaxed he said that he didn't want to discuss it now whilst on holiday despite it being the elephant in the room. Naturally I have backed away during the last few months. I cannot bring myself to initiate sex. Not sure I even love him anymore. It's pushing me further and further away from him.
Other people think he's a good guy. He is really. Separately neither of us are bad people. On the whole he provides and is a good parent. Just not for me. I want to laugh with someone again, talk hold, kiss all the nice parts about being part of a team.
I know relationships take constant hard work but ours doesn't feel like there are any nice bits left. Just duty. Can't even have fun on holiday. Sometimes we hold hands, I try to say thank you for the financial things he does but there is no kissing, laughing, hugging. I would happily trade my personal possessions for real love. We have a beautiful home and son with a high standard of life but to me I would rather live in an empty shell with love.
I don't want our son growing up thinking this is 'normal'.
He makes me feel like the child in,our relationship. My carefree attitude brings him down. Forgetful, disorganised, etc etc. The things when we met he loved about me.
We can not communicate at all without it ends in a row/ silence.
Is it worth trying still or do I just walk away?