Fair division of labour

[Drainedbeyond]

So my ex and I are going through counselling to try and be partners again.

Cant remember how but the subject of household chores came up and the counsellor commented saying that ex had it very easy so it got me thinking. Ex 'chores' where to empty the bin fix things when broken and cook dinner occasionally on weekend when he would sleep till midday.

I did everything else cleaning cooking looking after dc household bills and admin.
This was agreed as I work part time and he worked full time.
Is this a normal set up or do people divide things differently?

My ex would cut the lawn, prune the hedges once a year and paint walls. He occasionally cooked supper. I was expected to do everything else despite me working full time and him being retired - although not of retirement age. His justification was that he needed to stay fit - aka playing golf
He got grumpy & left when I kept falling asleep before he came to bed at night, rather than having acrobatic sex. I went through a phase of falling asleep in ds bed while I was reading bedtime story which left dp speechless with disgust.
I honestly don’t think he understood, right to the last, that I was exhausted even though I did tell him.
I’ve been single for 13 months. It’s lovely.

It’s not about the division of chores, it’s about the division of leisure time.

Chores wise though, I divided them so that his chores are ones that aren’t regular and can be done as and when he has time as he’s often away and works unpredictable times.

I do the ones that need doing daily or to time, and those I’m most fussy about. It works for us.

It's not about the division of chores but hours worked.

If DH worked part time then I would expect him to use the difference in hours to mine to do household jobs. I'd certainly not expect a 50/50 split in those circumstances. We both work full time so we do have an equal split of everything but are very flexible about it.