Is this enough to end it for good?

[Nochance12]

Been together 3 years.... married but don't live together.... have two children each from previous marriages...

It's always been difficult and now I think it's too toxic to ever work.

Is this enough to think it's better to end it?

Asking me to marry him then leaving me 3 days later for his ex..
Obviously been seeing her behind my back for a while..
Didn't tell Me, just blocked me one day...
Played with my devasted feelings during his "thinking" time by one minute saying he was missing me and could it work.. the next saying he loved her and didnt want me..
Inviting me over after leaving me and saying "hmmm I'm trying to decide which one I want"
(This was a few years ago but he says I should have got over it by now)

One month ago he invited the above ex on linkedin and she accepted and then he lied and said he hadn't seen the TWO different notifications... then deleted all his emails... two major betrayals, having her, the person he left me for on there and lying.. I think he was excited shed accepted and kept her to see if she'd message him...

The constant lies about...
Being on a secret WhatsApp and Facebook account..
Porn
Time spent with women at work
Lipstick found in his house

Stopping me from attending works parties and going out without him

Getting very angry at times and calling me "twat... dick... knob... fucking idiot... thick as shit" but then saying it was just because he was angry and it was my fault for saying what is said (normally asking for more love and attention)

Having me as his lowest priority, even putting cleaning above me.

Having me put my children last to see him yet letting his kids rule his whole life when they are there and never seeing me or my boys anymore.

Love bombing me in the beginning and smothering me with love and poems and soulmate quotes and jealous rants because he couldn't bear to lose me.... then changing to saying he is too busy to text me in the evenings.. or too busy to see me... barely talking, forget to g to actually keep the spark alive as we live apart...

Me going to borrow his hoody for a walk when it was cold and yelling at me "what the fuck are you doing, ask next time!"

Leaving me on a mountain ledge and getting himself to safety and leaving me in 70mph games on ice, crying...

All of the above he has blamed in me in some way (I'm too jealous, needy, annoying, talk too much, expect too much love, aren't flexible enoigh)

So I feel now "if only I try harder" it will get better as he always blames me or do you think that actually he is a selfish manipulative man?

My ex was exactly the same and was expert and pointing the finger back at me. You are worth more and there are good men out there you don’t need this one !

Is this the one where he's horrible to your teenage son?

That's what I was wondering

It was enough reason to end it 3 years ago what an abusive manipulative waste of a man.
You and your dc and your self esteem are worth more than this headfuck of a 'marriage'

It's good in terms of separation that you don't live with him and have no shared dc.
End it block him and get on with your life starting with counselling to boost your esteem.

You don’t need an externally verified reason to end a relationship with someone. You can end it at any time you want to. Without any objective reason. You should consider what kind of permission are you looking for, and most importantly why you need to ask permission from us, a bunch of random strangers.

and don't waste a minute caring about who he'll be with the next woman he manipulates, love bombs, abuses and shreds to pieces! He'll be exactly who he is now as this is who he is a leopard never changes his spots. His mask will slip very soon regardless of who he's with because he gives no shits about anyone but himself

Yes it is

He will never be that wonderful person

Put your kids first and stop subjecting them to him

He is a narcissist. There is no reason anyone should be treated this way. By allowing him to do this to you, you are giving him power to keep doing it. Breaking away is the hardest thing you will ever do- worse than a 'normal' break up, but worth your sanity. You cannot fix this person. Big hugs op, horrible place to be, but remember you are worth more. xx

The worst thing is I can't quite end it... I know that he will then go and meet someone else and be the wonderful person I thought I was signing up for a life with..

He will meet someone else and unless he consciously chooses to change who he is, he will treat her exactly the same as he treated you.

Please don't stay with a monster because you are trying to stop him being with someone else.

Please live YOUR life.

You have asked pretty much this same question before, have you not? Was that about your son? But I remember the mountain ledge story.

Everybody told you then to LTB. So why didn’t you, and why ask again as if everyone will have changed their mind?

He’s horrendous and the fact you put up with this is truly sad.