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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ex partners new partner concerns

2 replies

P1nkcadillac · 04/05/2018 15:59

Myself and my ex have been separated a couple of years and have a mutual agreement regarding contact and introducing new partners.
He has introduced previous partners to the children none of which I’ve had doubts over.
I have validated concerns regarding his new girlfriend though, after spending months lying to me and stating they aren’t actually together, though she says different and even posts pictures, meaning I can’t trust a single word he says.
My concerns are she has a reputation for being a drug user and owes dealers money, and has no responsibility for any of her children, who all live with either their dads or their grandparents. She doesn’t have a single one in her custody.
I’ve tried to be civil with ex to try and keep my children and their dads contact ongoing and told him my concerns to which he laughed and told me I know nothing.
He’s offered no reassurance that my children’s safety is his priority and chooses her over his children many a time and it’s now got to the point where I’m running out of excuses to cover for him with regards to letting the children down.
Do I have a right to stop him introducing his gf until he has shown there is no risk to my children or will I have to take it the legal route?

Any advice greatly appreciated

OP posts:
ThirdTimeUnlucky · 04/05/2018 16:13

Hi,
I didn't want to read and run and I haven't been in this situation - but from what I know, I am assuming there is no legal custody arrangements in place already, then you, as the main carer, can stop him having access. He would have to take YOU to court over access. You could then voice your legitimate concerns and then (I presume) SS would get involved and investigate. It sounds like you have every right to be wary of his g/f!

P1nkcadillac · 04/05/2018 16:51

Thank you for replying ☺️
I don’t want to stop him seeing the children as it’s only them who will suffer, as bad as it sounds he only seems to have them because he doesn’t want to look the bad parent. It’s such a difficult situation to be in

OP posts:
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