How do I start again at 52?

[Sammysees]

My relationship is in tatters due to his Disney Dad parenting and verbal abuse when I try and talk to him about things. I've made the decision to leave and hopefully by this time next week will have a rental property to move in to. However, I am terrified! I only work part time and my wages won't even cover the rent, let alone pay the bills and run my car. I have been looking for full time employment for about 6 months. I am highly experienced and very good at what I do (PA/secretarial work) but nobody will give me a job. Have had several interviews where the feedback has all been fantastic but no job offers. Is it my age? And what on earth am I going to do about money? I have enough to put down 6 months rent up front so I have 6 months to find a job. I'm not entitled to any benefits. DS is going to uni in September so there will just be me. STBXP has just been made bankrupt so no help there either. Has anyone else been through this and can give me a hand hold?
I didn't think I would be starting again at 52 and the future is looking pretty scary right now!

Have you signed up to agencies to do temporary office work ? When was the last time you did PA work, because technology has changed the work. I would suggest widenening what sort of work you are willing to do. Good luck.

I do PA work now but just 12 hours a week. I do a lot of other stuff too. Accounts, customer service etc. But thank you yes, I do think I need to widen my search. I wanted to get as good a wage as I can but it’s not happening. It’s just all too scary at the moment.

Just wanted to come on and say well done to have got this far - brilliant news. Did you lose money on the house due to the bankruptcy?

Agree with temping, particularly given your range of skills. Sometimes these posts lead to permanent jobs if that's what you want.

Sounds like you have the right experience so it is probably just a case of keeping on looking. The other option I suppose would be to take on evening work at a supermarket to tide you over until you find a full time position in your current career.

How about also widening your job search to for Accounts Assistant/Bookkeeping work rather than just PA/Sec jobs and maybe doing a part time AAT course as employers seem to like that. It might mean more options for career advancement going forward?

All the best with everything.

Just a thought - could you have a small book keeping business?

There always seem to be carer jobs that don't require experience and provide training near me. This could be an option to supplement your current income as they tend to need people in the evening and at weekends so you may be able to find a shift pattern around your current hours.

I understand your fears OP, and I'm the same age as you. I've been overlooked for a lot of jobs and I'm convinced my age is a factor. I'm well qualified and quite senior in my field.

Unfortunately, many employers prefer younger employees because they are cheaper are more "mouldable" - and therefore less of a threat to hiring bosses who may well be younger than us. Or at least in my field that appears to be the case.

Not all employers are like this though - my friend got a new job at 51 where she expressed doubts to them about her suitability. They told her: "You have exactly the maturity and experience that we are looking for." She got the job and loved it, but had spent a year looking and had had several rejections. She was very particular about the work she was willing to do though!

I have a friend in her early 60s who does not have a particular profession but she is great at getting jobs and is never out of work. She got a good government job when she was 60 as an admin officer that paid well. She did so well they wanted to promote her but she decided that at her stage of life she didn't want the pressure and left. She's doing care work now looking after disabled adults and absolutely loves it.

Just stick at it, OP, and something will come up. I think the suggestion to do an AAT course is brilliant. If you are reasonably numerate, you've nothing to lose!

I have a friend who left her DH at 69 - she is in her early 80s now. She lives frugally but manages to have an amazing life full of adventure. Somehow you will find the resources you need, as she does.

Finally, why don't you consider a job at Waitrose? I know of a couple of people who work there and they absolutely love it.

Congratulations on making such a courageous move, OP. Fortune favours the brave and it is just a matter of time before you land a role that's just right for you. Have faith. I'm rooting for you!

OP, is your son coming with you? Isn't he in the middle of his A level exams right now?

I’m turning 50 this year and have just got a job after being out of work for two years. My new employer say they are thrilled to have got someone mature with life experience.
With your career background there should be lots of jobs to apply for. Have you looked at schools, Universities, Hospitals etc.. Oh and look at private schools too (that’s where I’ve just got my new job).

Thank you so much everyone for your kind replies. I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment. I’ll try and answer your questions ... my son starts his A levels in 4 weeks time. He seems ok with the move though. He has slight Asperger and is a bit of a recluse so as long as he has a nice bedroom and wi fi he is happy. STBXP and I are in rented together at the moment. I sold my house to move in with him. There wasn’t much left over once I’d given my EH (ds dad) his share but there is enough for me to cope for 6 months. I put it away where I couldn’t spend it! I hadn’t thought of temping. That’s a really good idea. That’s why it’s so nice to come on here and get some different perspectives. I am giving myself 2 months to move, get settled and my son through his A levels then I will start looking again. I have developed anxiety and panic attacks in the last few months although am coping so far. I’m hoping once I move that it will all settle down. Thanks again everyone x

Temping takes a little while to build up but once you get a reputation people ask for you specifically, which could lead to longer contracts and also permanent jobs. Don't be scared after a while when you have a good reputation to ask the agency for an increase in your hourly rate - I used to and they paid it. Good luck. You'll be fine.

Hi Sammy,

Sorry to hear about your recent job hunting issues.

I’m a recruitment consultant and run my own business. I also do interview coaching. If you pm me, i will happy to give you a couple of free sessions if you would be happy to give me feedback on my service?

Good luck
Delphine

Look at this as an enormous adventure. Temping often leads to permanent work and is a good way to network and keep your ears open. I understand the money worries bit as I am in a similar situation at the moment. You can feel confident that you will be in a better situation than you would have been if you had stayed. Good luck- grab every opportunity that comes your way. 3 part time jobs could prob get you by.

I've just started a new job at the young age of 55 and I'm loving it. I feel completely regenerated. Just made me realise how much of a rut I was in.

A friend left her P at 56 as he was abusive. She had nothing but the clothes she stood up in. She works in care, where there's always plenty of overtime, and rents a property. It's hard but she manages and is much happier.

My sister was widowed at 61 last year and her DH business died with him, she had worked as his book keeper.

She did some cleaning and now has a job in a quaint little tea shop which though hard she is enjoying.

I just really wanted to send you good luck. My sister is a very shy person so I'm sure you will be fine. I think it's totally normal to be scared of change.

I want to say Good Luck to you!
My ds is also doing his A-levels right now and I am your age.
I an working FT and can see that attitude towards employing mature people is getying better. It is hard when you are trying to get better job but it will happen.

This is what I love about MN! You lot have completely inspired me to do something different with life. Yes it’s still a scary time but I’m going to look at new jobs (I’d love to work in a tea shop!) and move away from what I’m used to. Money is important but happiness and being away from abuse is much much more. Thank you!