Difficult family relationship

[hopefulforthefuture]

I am new here, so sorry if I don't use the correct language .
I am 20 years old and expecting my first child, I am 7 months pregnant and very excited. However about 3-4 weeks ago me and my Nana (dads mum) had a big argument about the way that she speaks to me and the way that she bad mouths my mum and grandma (mums mum) who I am extremely close with. They're my rock!!
My nana would say really rude and inappropriate comments about them. To which the entire family (dads side) turn a blind eye and say she is thoughtless.
A few weeks ago when I was over visiting the baby was kicking and I invited her to feel to which she made sly comments about my grandma but still came over for a feel, as the baby kicked she then proceeded to prod my stomach where the baby had just kicked moderately hard and then denied it when the whole room saw. I was quite taken back at what she had just done and didn't comment.
I later spoke to my dad in regards to all the events that had happened and things that she said and we decided to talk to her about it as I was getting very hurt and upset by it. We went over and started the difficult conversation saying Maybe she could think about how she spoke to me and so on, she ended up kicking me out of her house and proceeded to tell my dad that she 'Doesn't give a sh*t about having a relationship with me she just wants to see my child'. She also called me a disgrace and a massive disappointment.
We haven't spoken since this has happened and she has admitted to my dad that she was wrong but hasn't reached out to me or even tried to contact me. If I’m honest I have come to terms that I don't really mind not seeing her as I don't feel having her in my life is beneficial to my mental health.
I don't really want her around my child as I am worried that she will continue to say inappropriate things about my family and also me to her and I don't think that that is healthy at all. When talking to my dad about it at the weekend he said that she is really upset that she won’t see the child and that I shouldn't use my child as a weapon which really hurt. I don't see that I am doing this to be mean I feel like I am trying to make the right decision for my child.
This is really sticking with me as I am quite hurt that he would think I would do such a thing.
Any help, advice or guidance would be greatly appreciated.
Sorry for the massive post. x

Well, look who brought up your dad...

You may have to be brave and accept that your dad isn't going to support you.

Congratulations on your pregnancy

You said yourself - your dad and his family turn a blind eye to her comments and behaviour. They've known it all their lives and probably just accept it in a way that someone like you - with a more distant perspective - doesn't.

If you think having her in your life is damaging to your mental health, then it won't be good for your child to have her in their life either. It is never good for a child to be in contact with someone who bad mouths and is disrespectful to the child's mother.

You need no more justification than that. Your father accusing you of you using your child as a weapon is a rather clumsy attempt at emotional blackmail. He won't support you by the sound of it.

When talking to my dad about it at the weekend he said that she is really upset that she won’t see the child and that I shouldn't use my child as a weapon which really hurt

Given how she has behaved long term it sounds like you'd be protecting your child.

You can't have a relationship with a baby if you're dissing its mum!

Suggest that if you let her near your baby at all, it's only when you are near. Iron rule. And if you don't want her to hold or handle the baby, then don't let her.

Thank you so much for your replies! You have no idea how much these have helped me feel less stressed! I agree with everything that’s been said and it’s just confirmed it for me!
Thanks again 😘