I’ve not done these forums before and am only reaching out as am so confused and need perspective on the situation
My boyfriend and I have been together just a year and a half. From early on we both knew was right and made sense why previous relationships hadn’t worked, it was that whole ‘when you know you know’ cliche.
He has a daughter and I had never wanted children. However it would come up quite a bit and we discussed at length. Both undecided and I did think if was going to happen then it’s with him and could see it could be a good thing and those were his words and we said maybe we don’t need to be so careful and if it happens then it could be a great thing for us.
I’m 38, he’s 40 but has a condition which means he shouldn’t really be able to conceive even though has a daughter from years ago, still in back of our minds the odds are against us and naively thought slim chance of it happening given age/ condition etc
Anyway, I fell pregnant within about 6 weeks of the odd ‘Risk’. We were both bit unsure how to react but very quick, after the news he didn’t really bring it up and I felt like I kept talking about it and being like ‘Hello I’m pregnant it’s happening we need to talk’ Which I felt he wasn’t doing, and sorry to blame hormones, but made me bit mad and felt let down confused and very unsettled.
This evolved into fights and doubts for our future and resulted in complete turn around and him saying we are not solid enough and I should terminate he thinks is best for us right now.
I’m now 9 weeks and we have known for almost 4 now.
We do have the odd disagreement and struggle to understand and deal in fights so we know that’s something we need to work on, maybe even see someone to help how we deal in arguments (but us that sign if thinking a bit of counselling may help after just 1.5years is that doomed anyway?)
This made me totally mad and hurt and so confused
I don’t want to do it alone but I don’t know if can forgive him and not resent him afterwards if I terminate.
I can’t get through to him to explain what this has done to me and feel totally used and let down and crushed. He is incredibly stubborn and righteous and just sees his view. There are of course loads of amazing things about him/us which are buried at moment because of this situation I feel he has put me in and is just being, basically useless and incredibly insensitive...I feel.
Has anyone had similar or are the warning signs obvious and I should get out before he hurts or let’s me down again...