Have just joined and need some advice.
I'm three years into a relationship with a man I met just after my divorce from my children's father. We had a fantastic connection right from the start, one which I never had with my ex husband and he is great with my children. I love him dearly but we've had a very rocky relationship due to what I can only think as, emotional connection with his ex. He was married to her for a long time and separated for two years when I met him and said his divorce was almost finalised and he was ready to move on with life.
After a year we moved in together and were very happy, so I thought. Four months later I found out she was still texting and calling him, still on his car insurance, using credit cards on his account and I then found out he was only starting the divorce. I was distraught as on the one hand were talking about getting married, on the other he was being secretive, not telling me what she was contacting him for and secretly going to see her. He then out of the blue, a few days later just left and went back to her. It was such a shock as I hground ad just found out all of these things out all within the previous two weeks.
I had no contact with him for about five months and I had managed to recover and move on. Then he started emailing me, saying how sorry he was, what a huge mistake he had made and that if I could only give him another chance he would spend the rest of his life making it up to me. I ignored him for several weeks, I couldn't even consider it but after a while agreed to meet for coffee. We talked for three hours and eventually I agreed to give things another try only on the condition that he was completely open with me and got his divorce finalised. He promised he would.
That was over a year ago and on the whole we have had a wonderful relationship together until the last few months when I have been excluded from several family events, a wedding and a funeral, on his side of the family, because his ex wife would be there and have also just found photos on his computer of him and his ex on holiday a few days a week after we got back together, I didn't even know he was away. I also found out that he is still paying some of her bills and for her car etc even though she got a huge financial settlement from him and a lump sum instead of maintenance. She also still has a credit card on his account. Their children are grown up and moved out and she has a good job.
He wants us to get married but I feel very unsure about everything.
I would appreciate your thoughts.