To be disgusted with close friend...

[sevenatenine3]

Hi. Looking for opinions please. a close friend of mine told me yesterday that now that his close female friend has started a relationship, that he is thinking of telling her that he really likes her. She has previously told him that she really liked him and he emphatically told her that he had no interest in her outside of being a friend. she hasnt really taken no for an answer and has pursued him in one form or another. He has admitted that he loved the attention and they remain extremely close friends. Fast forward 8 months and she has started to see somebody. This girl had a text relationship with this new man who was in a 4 year relationship, he has just broken up with his partner because of her and now they are in this new reationship. She has told my friend that new guy is fine but' he's not you'.... Since she has started to see this guy, my friend maintains that he is interested in her romantically and wants to tell her this. i am disgusted with him. He is such a decent lad and Ive now seen this side to him and i really dont like it. I know that his friend is ruthless in her pursuit of what she wants but never had my friend down as the male equivalent. Ive kind of lost respect for him. All i can of is this poor new man sitting in her bedroom, while she is downstairs telling my friend that he is second best but he'll do.my friend unsurprisingly feel a bit better now thathes been told he's back in pole position. Am i being utterly ridiculous.? I am his confidante and frankly, I am allergic to him so ive subtely advised him to seek advise elsewhere.My friend is accompanying her to a wedding soon, despite her being in this new relationship and cant really see anything wrong with this.

No one is emerging from this particularly well, but there also seem to be some plot holes -- are you saying that your friend's friend had a 'text relationship' with a man who was in an actual relationship, but that he broke up to be with her, while she secretly prefers your mutual friend, whom she's been pursuing for years, only he's only interested now she's with someone else?

Can I ask how old you all are, because this sounds deeply teenage..?

As regards what you should do, just tell him the whole thing sounds like a bad soap plot and to leave you out of the drama. If you insist on talking to him about it, the obvious question is why he's only suddenly become sexually interested in the friend now she's with someone else...

Yes, your first paragraph is exactly right. She wasnt happy until the new man broke up with his girl and now she isnt sure whether she wants him. I actually believe she is actively trying to make my friend jealous and is succeeding??? This wedding invitation could easily have been taken back as theyre such close friends, in favour of new guy, but she didnt do that and has booked a room for the two of them...Ive never met her,. but she is exactly the type of woman I despise and he is not coming out of this looking much better than her I think?These people are in their 30's!!! I think that he has no sexual interest in her but is afraid of losing the' rebound girl' for want of a better phrase.. never thought he was like that. what a disappointment.thanks for advice. im not interested in listening to any more of this nonsense and am surprised at my level of allergy for him!i think im also getting sick of being the one he runs to everytime he makes a shit decision or has these ridiculous dramas.. sorry! Im ranting !!Maybe Im overreacting.

She sounds awful herself tbf, I'd just leave them to it and I agree with the PP they sound like 13 year olds

They all deserve it.

Your friens is playing games. His friend is playing games. And her new boyfriend was cheating (emotionally) on his ex.

Leave it well alone. If your friend is fun to be around, etc, maybe just drift into a more superficial relationship so you wont be in a position of confidence, etc, having to listen to this stuff.

Youre alll right..thanks. Im just sick of listening to his rubbish. Ive just met him and told him that I really dont want to have anything to do with this drama, that I think the girl is everything I despise in women and while we are close friends, i dont really want to hear about it anymore. i just said that i felt he only fancied her because she was unavailable so when she gets rid of this man, who dumped his gf for her, give it a few months and see if you still feel the same...until then I told him, Im out. Its funny..its brought old feelings rushing back to a time when a friend secretly slept with the bf of another friend.The fall out was phenomonal and to this day, not one of the group of friends trusts or really has any respect for her. thant was 25 years ago!!!!