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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Left abusive partner

3 replies

pineappleposter · 03/05/2018 10:26

I left my abusive partner. We had only been together for 2 years but in that time he had eroded my self confidence, made me doubt myself constantly, told my family I had mental issues, locked me in my room, grabbed me and was physically intimidating. Yet despite it all I still for some crazy reason loved him and believed that I was helping him through an awfully hard time in his life. I believed he'd come out the end of this and love me like I deserved to be.
In the couple of weeks before I left him I read through many threads on mumsnet and it was these that slowly made me realise my situation wasn't OK. Thank you to all the strong women who opened up on these to speak about their experiences.
This week I had to file a police report against one of the incidents - I had called them when I was locked in his car - and it was a wake-up call. I have 3 DCs (not his) and I became worried for their safety. I became honest with my friends about the abuse and the way he treated me and they convinced me I - and the kids - deserved better.
I feel a hundred pounds lighter. We were engaged but hadn't yet bought a house together or had a child. I feel so lucky I managed to get out when I did and know it was easy for me compared to some. I just wanted to say that it's possible. Women are so strong and none of us should stay in a relationship where we're made to feel small. Thank you mumsnet for your part in making me realise this.

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 03/05/2018 11:26

Well done OP.
You got away and saved yourself and your DC from a life of abuse.
Please now get onto Womens Aid and do their Freedom Programme.
It will help you spot red flags far sooner and avoid fuckwit abusers in the future.
They can also point in the right direction for some counselling to understand why you put up with this crap for 2 years!!!
When you already know you should have ended things ages ago.
Work on yourself. Understand yourself.
Understand that you deserve the best as do your DC.
Good luck with your new, abuse free life!

pineappleposter · 03/05/2018 12:46

Thank you hellsbells - I have been recommended the Freedom Programme, I'll look at it now. It's terrifying; I consider myself an intelligent and accomplished woman but still got sucked in. Never again.

OP posts:
snowbear66 · 03/05/2018 17:25

Congratulations on getting away!
I'm so glad you had the courage to phone the police.

Stay strong and don't let him back into your life.

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