Last BF said things that have made me feel bad

[OutofSyncGirl]

He made me feel abnormal because I don't have much jewellery - the only thing I have are pearl earrings and bracelet. I don't tend to wear rings because my fingers are tiny and I have to get them made smaller.

He was also often commenting about my clothes and saying things like 'why don't I buy you some new clothes'

I know this sounds odd but nobody has sYs these things before and they have made me feel like I'm the only person in the world who doesn't have loads of jewellery.

*said

Why do you care? Seriously. For the record I wear a delicate gold bracelet and up until bf bought me a ring that was all.

Drop another accessory and change your life - get rid of him!

In all seriousness, though, he's negging you (making negative comments about you / your appearance to undermine your confidence and make you doubt yourself). He's pushing the boundaries by trying to make clothing choices for you - you're not a child, who the fuck does he think he is, and why do you need his help to buy clothes? Classic controlling behaviour.

For what it's worth I have no fancy jewellery at all other than my wedding rings.

Perhaps it's to do with what he's used to. Do the women in his family wear a lot of bling? Jewellery can be such a cultural thing too. In some circles it's part of looking presentable and made-up. In my circles a person my age wearing a lot of expensive jewellery comes across as flashy and trying too hard, but in others it's extremely normal.

Whatever the reason, he was being rude and critical and you sound very well rid of the guy! Be yourself!

I guess I've never been hugely into jewellery. Make up is a different matter - I love make up. I know what you mean though. I have a friend who wears loads of it and it's a family thing for her.

I don't know why I care. I suppose it's because he's made me feel abnormal. But then he comes from quite a different background than me.

He sounds like he was trying to make you feel self conscious at best. Which is, obviously, very very cuntish. Or he is on his way to taking control over your appearance. Which is even more cuntish.

I dont own jewellery. Well, I have my ears pierced about 10 times so I wear cheap earrings but....
It isnt weird not to wear or own jewellery

He isn't a very rational person anyway and has started telling me in emails I don't want to read that he spent yesterday clearing negative energy from his sofas and mirrors

I just realised it says "last" bf as in ex? In which case, he was an arse, ignore him, forget about it. He was weird not you.

Wow.

Please please confirm he is an ex. Why are you still in contact?

Yes he's an ex. Although he is still trying to meet up. I never said anything about his clothes or appearance. I think it's quite rude. Looking back on it he made me feel bad generally and spoke to me in a patronising way.

he spent yesterday clearing negative energy from his sofas and mirrors

I think that says it all about how much his opinions should be respected, don't you? Not enough jewellery Weird, weird weird. Not you!

He sounds as though he will have a few exes. Well done on getting rid OP, I don't wear jewellery either.

What a bizarre comment. Lots of people don't wear jewellery it doesn't make them abnormal. I have 2 rings I wear all the time and one necklace and occasionally put in earrings when I can be bothered. It sounds like he wore you down a bit with negative comments, please don't take any notice, he sounds weird.

Sounds as though he wanted you to apologise, go out and form yourself in the image of what he considered a 'perfect girlfriend' to look like.

He's got problems. Fairly large ones, if he's trying to 'cleanse negative energy from a sofa'. Wonder if he can do anything about the mud on mine?

Well at least you got rid of some negative energy when you got that arsehole out of your life! Seriously OP, would you judge another woman on her lack of jewellery? Would you even notice if a woman didn’t have jewellery? It sounds like he had the potential to become very controlling.

The only negative energy on his sofas is himself! He best get scrubbing

Honestly you aren't abnormal for being who you are. As for not enough jewellery surely that's a personal choice.
I wear my wedding rings and that's it no other jewellery it just isn't me.

The only power he has to make you feel abnormal is the power you've given him, the good news is you can take it back any time you choose.

Block him and move on.

Yes I agree. I suppose nobody who is secure in who they are needs to make personal comments to others. He's quite narrow minded so perhaps doesn't accept that everyone's different.

I have an ex who sat me down one day to give me five reasons as to why he was dumping me! I went on to marry him!

He was weird op not you. I only wear diamond earrings and no one has ever commented on that. Why would they.

I don't wear any jewellery including my wedding or engagement rings.

He sounds weird.

Why are you even giving this head room? He's in the past - don't let it affect your future.

It's really not good to allow the negative thoughts of others to linger in your mind. Imagine all the things he said written on a peace of paper. In your mind screw it up into a tight ball and throw it as far as it will go. It takes some practice but does work.