I am struggling

[failing4567]

I am getting worse every day.
I told him to go. I caught him lying to me again. Something little but the little things build and build. He does not care and left without a fight.
I know he doesn’t come back because there is too many lies I have caught him out on. He won’t admit to any of these. Why are we not worth changing for? He has it easy at his mothers. He sees the children and drops them back. Then he relaxes and leaves me to the hard work.
He doesn’t want family life. That to me is certain. Why are we not worth it?
Self pitying post but I am struggling very badly. I need help.
Why do other husbands and fathers stick around. Will do anything to keep the family together. Instead he shows no desire for us and it hurts every day.

Some men are just selfish bastards.

The trick is to spot them before you become a couple and worse still, have his children.

You’re not alone. Sadly it happens all the time and all you can do is move on and forget them.

What steps can I take to move on? I am lost

Lies are so damaging. I recently ended a 15 year marriage due to constant lies and deceit.

You say you are certain he doesn't want family life and every day you feel hurt. Is this what you want for yourself and your children?

Splitting up isn't the easy option, I know from experience, but if you have tried and tried (as I did) and he still doesn't care then I'm afraid there is little hope.

Yes being on your own with DC's is hard (I have no one, no family) but believe me being alone and free/happy is a lot better than trying to change someone into something they can't be/don't want to be.

There is someone else out there for you who will give you the love and respect you deserve because this man isn't worthy of you. Or, like me, enjoy the freedom of no longer being dragged down by someone who will never change. Enjoy your DC's and don't let an idiot of a man like that spoil their young years.

How easy would it be to separate permanently?

That is right. He was taking up a lot of head space wondering why he told that lie and how he could do it again. I was neglecting the rest of my life upset about him.
I do want family life. I want it with him strangely. I miss him being around. Then I snap back in to reality and remember what he has done to me. Reduced me to anxious shell of person.
He has taken away family. His family were my family. He made them think I am crazy and because he comes across as loyal honest man and the constant lies were so little, when I tried to reach out to mother in law I looked crazy. Now I have no family and that hurts furthermore.
I want to embrace this new freedom. I am struggling to know how.
Every day I wake up and feel guilt about just doing basics for children. I am there but emotionally I am a shell. I am going through the motions. This needs to end. I don’t know how.

The problem here is that he doesn't want family life, you said as much. I can pretty much guarantee that if you keep taking him back, you will be in this exact place in 5 years time, 10 years.

Give yourself some time apart and although you can't believe this now, you will start to feel relief that the worry of his lies has gone.

Do you have support?