Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partners social media habits

9 replies

Morg031987 · 02/05/2018 17:28

Might be a slightly muddled post but I am going to try and break it down as much as I can. Me and my partner will have been together 2 years in June. We currently have a 10 month old and I have an 8 year old from previous. When we ment he had come out of a pretty bad relationship of four years. We met on tinder and he decided after 2 weeks he wanted to see how things went and we should not meet anyone else. All good. For 4 months he was closed off. Distant. And hard to get any feelings from. Understood it would take time. Anyway things have been good but I was always concerned about his media habits. He would add random woman he doesn't know on Facebook and instagram constantly. I did ask him why and he said he uses Facebook like a social newspaper that is all. So I left it. Problem was his phone would go everywhere with him. He would never leave it unattended and if he did he would rush to retrieve it. Which sparked suspicion. Unfortunately my suspicions were shown to be true when I did go through his Facebook. He was messaging another woman for 4 months up until I got pregnant getting very emotionally deep calling her beautiful and babe. Saying he would leave it all behind to see how things went with her. All the while being emotionally closed off to me. He would also sit and just chat to woman he doesn't know. Sometimes about our relationship! If seen some of the messages and when I ask him about them some of the things don't add up. An example messages from one girl must of been talking about me. But I couldn't see any previous messages but she knew I had a child from a previous relationship I asked him what was spoken about previously he said nothing what I saw was all that was said. But the next day he said she did reply to one of my old messages earlier saying definitely. Which he said was in reply to him asking if the new avengers film was good. But that message was not in the feed...so he is also lying...

As you can see head is going crazy over here!
Or am I just being a crazy person?

OP posts:
1moreRep · 02/05/2018 17:32

i'm sorry but you won't get past this- he has betrayed you and the trust is gone. he was willing to leave you pregnant to try for a woman he states he has never met?

i think he has never put you as his number 1 which would be a deal breaker for me

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/05/2018 17:34

Is this correct; he lied to you for the first 4 months of your relationship, you got pregnant a month or two later, he continued to message other women fairly constantly...

Yeah, I'm willing to bet the bad relationship was because of him and you will be the new 'bitch ex' soon enough. Get organized and leave him.

Morg031987 · 02/05/2018 17:44

He said for the first 4 months he didn't know what he wanted. He wasn't himself..he picked this woman because he previously in past had history and she lived in Australia so he knew nothing would happen he just needed to show emotion some how as he couldn't do it verbally to me at the time. The other people the chat is random conversations but some about us. And he won't explain what was talked about. He said he has never touched another woman. But I feel emotionally cheated on

OP posts:
Adora10 · 02/05/2018 18:02

Bin him off, he's a sleazy dirty git with zero respect for himself never mind you, you are a complete mug if you stay with this idiot, sorry.

I can't believe you are listening to his utter crap excuses.

He is cheating on you OP, wake up!

Gemini69 · 02/05/2018 18:06

He's addicted to the excitement of the 'Notification' on social media.. this won't change.. he Feeds from the attention of it all.. constant flow of women looking/hoping for something more... He will not stop OP... get out whilst you're not deluded enough to believe his crap... Flowers

Shoxfordian · 02/05/2018 18:30

He's not fully committed to you and he never has been. If you knew about this before you got pregnant then why did you incidentally?

Morg031987 · 02/05/2018 20:49

I didn't find out about the messages until a few days ago I'm a very laid back person and didn't have an issue with female friends. The secretive behaviour with the phone was my issue but it didn't really become apparent up until around 8 months ago when we brought the same phones and he would freak if I'd picked his up by accident.

OP posts:
Morg031987 · 02/05/2018 20:57

I know what he has done is completely disgraceful and he knows that no matter what was going on in his head that doesn't excuse it. And talking about our relationship to strangers is just odd. I do not believe he has cheated on me physically. All he does is work and come home. But i explained emotional cheating is as bad. He is an amazing dad to the boys and has been a great partner until I found this out which is now my dilemma. He said he will delete social media if it saves our family. I am at a loss to decide

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 02/05/2018 21:28

Ah ok
If he deletes it would you trust him not to reinstall it? How would you know without constantly policing his phone? I think when trust is broken then its broken

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread