have posted before about my challenging relationship with my DM. These challenges have only developed since my DC got older and I really didnt have the time or attention to devote to my DM and i am looking for advise about whether I am being mean with my time or whether DM is being too demanding
So I am not drip feeding here is the background.
- DM largely raised us alone and is on her own now. She would have struggled to make ends meet. DM has her challenges (dont we all!) in that things tend to be all about her but I usually manage this well.
- DM is a paid childminder for my DC 3 days a week and is great in that she cooks, helps with housework etc
- I am the only daughter - 3 brothers, 2 live away
- In the past 10 years in which time I have had my children, I have brought DM to the US twice (just 2 of us) , Disney (with my family), Rome, Spain twice (with me and kids)
Obviously I see DM 3 days a week as she minds my DC. I would also say that 2 or 3 out of every 4 weekends would see DM either come to us for dinner, or we would go out somewhere for lunch etc.
So for example last weekend we spent an afternoon / evening in my cousins house for a family get together, the weekend before DM came over to my house for a bbq with my brother and his family. Next weekend my DH is away so I will go out with DM and kids or invite her over.
This weekend, I really feel like just hanging out with my kids and husband and maybe popping into DM for a coffee and chat. We want to go to a new local restaurant this Sunday but DM wants us to come over to hers for lunch. I said No but did say would she like to come with us to try the new restaurant to which she said no and got sulky and has let it be known that she will feel very lonely.
I really feel like that I now have no option of having downtime with my husband and children as all free time is taken up with ferry the kids to activities and doing something with DM.
Am i unreasonable for feeling this and is it a case of 'tough you are the sandwich generation so get over it'