The back story is, been with dp for almost six years. We don’t live together for numerous reasons in fact it’s a LDR and we see each other at weekends.
He is loving, attentive, supportive of my DC who see very little of their father.
However two years ago I was very suddenly diagnosed with a life-limiting illness which has had a serious impact on my independence, and I realise that this doesn’t always make me the easiest person to live with sometimes. Our physical relationship has also suffered, and I know that DP struggles with that, although he hasn’t applied pressure. He has continued to be supportive but yes, I think it’s fair to say the relationship has changed.
Now to the insecurity bit.
There is a woman at work who it is very clear he is very close to. They don’t see each other outside of work from what I can gather but they do text and communicate via social media and I know they spend quite a lot of time talking at work. he’s always been quite open about this, and I have never been the jealous type so it’s never bothered me.
But little things have started to ring alarm bells in my head. Firstly, he talks about her a lot. As they’re a small team I guess that could just be normal though, but also, if she comments on his statuses on FB etc it is clear there is chemistry there. I almost feel as if I would be intruding if I were to comment as well iyswim? And lastly, this morning he was talking about a work night out that they’re all going on in a few weeks, they’re going for a meal and then going on to do something else, but he was planning to just go for the meal and then come to me after as it’s the weekend. I honestly wouldn’t have minded if he’d wanted to go on after but he doesn’t. But he then talked about how he needs to speak to this woman and find out what she’s decided to do, as she also said she didn’t want to stay on afterwards. I asked him why he needed to know what she was doing when he had already made his own plans and he couldn’t answer me.
It’s left me feeling very insecure and as if there are clearly emotional feelings here at the very least. But do I even have a right to feel that way? Given I’ve not been very easy to live with, shouldn’t I just accept that it’s likely that at some point he will move on and I need to accept that?
I’m certainly not going to have any kind of argument with him over it. If he wants to go somewhere else I won’t stop him. But how wrong am I to even feel insecure about her?