am I wrong to feel annoyed/frustrated

[Fvl77]

So been with partner 2 years, very much been up and down, don’t live together currently ( down to his choice and inability to make that step to us being a couple rather than two people who are doing couple things but when it suits s him he’s able to do as he pleases)
Almost a year to the day he cheated on me, drunken one night stand ( lied he was out with his mate, went collected this bird took her to his room spent evening getting drunk and one thing led to another .. he came clean immediately and we’ve since been trying to overcome this )
I admit it destroyed me
Well on his side a family party came up at the weekend , he’s been told a few weeks back and had totally forgot to tell me so I could sort childcare , he knows I struggle to find last minute childcare then told me at last minute and basically said he was going regardless
So off he went and all was good
Until pics of a group selfie turn up on fb ,, in it he’s got some woman draped round him,, arms round his neck and leaning in it looks almost to kiss but I beleive him when he says they were talking
However I feel pretty hurt that this pic popped up on my fb and he just doesn’t see the issue
He won’t ask his relative to remove it as he doesn’t want her upset .. so I have to know there’s pics of my partner with this blond being very very close up with him and all his family and mates can see this
I feel like he’s made an idiot of me ... again
Am I wrong to feel like this and just need to get over it ?

He doesn't sound great - I'm not sure why you're still with him.

collected this bird took her to his room

Are those the words he used? Any man who refers to women as 'birds' has a questionable level of respect for them.

Op you realise he didn't forget to tell you don't you?
Bin him, he brings nothing positive to your mh.

Really sorry OP but doesn’t sound like he is your partner, as he sees other women, you don’t live together and it doesn’t sound like a happy or fulfilling relationship. You deserve better, especially if you have children, would you really want a man like this around your children? He doesn’t see the issue as he is happy treating you like crap, it is not good enough. Cut your losses, he sounds awful and you deserve to be happier

I know how this will sound but he got chatting to this woman online with the intention of meeting her and checking her out for a threesome for us ( she was fully aware of the plan , but all the talk and drink caused them to take things too far)
He’d always been honest about wanting this and looking back rather than hoping he’d forget about it all I should of told him from the start it wasn’t my thing

For me infidelity is a dealbreaker but i can understand why some people choose to try and work through it when there is a long relationship, marriage or kids at stake. Why would you choose to accept it when you'd invested so little time in the relationship? And minimiseing it as a drunken one night stand? It doesn't sound like he was drunk at the begining and probably new exactly where the night was going. Not that it matters in my mind, being drunk is no excuse. Set higher standards for yourself and find someone worthy of your love.

Why would you accept all this angst and heartache in such a new relationship?? After two years it should NOT be 'very much up and down'. It should still be the honeymoon period!

He's already been unfaithful to you. What does he bring to your relationship?

Just end it and move on. You'll be much happier.

Just seen your update about him coerving you into a threesome that you werent really up for. Seriously, this guy does not see you as a person, you're just a life support system for a vagina in his mind.

You’ve all pretty much spelt out a lot of the stuff that deep down I know is true and I know I should of walked at the time,
I just don’t know if I’m wrong to be angry about that pic, do I make him ask the poster to remove because surely my feelings should be equal to the family members
I do beleive him when he says they were just talking,,, but it’s just how it looks in the picture,, to mates and friends it looks pretty condemning
And I’m supposed to get on with his family but I feel like they’ll all be laughing at dumb put up with anything me

If you believe him, why does the photo matter?

I think its a case of you dont believe him and want the photo to disappear so you can pretend it doesnt exist. I get that. But its just denial.

He doesnt want to move the relationship forward and has cheated on you. You need to ditch him.

Oh FFS OP just find your self respect and end it. Asking someone to remove a photo just makes you look like you're unhinged. Don't waste more time thinking about past stuff. Seriously, doing anything other than ending it right now is a big mistake. You'll be here in another 12 months with another dilemma involving this man.

I agree with April. He deliberately didn't tell you in time to get a babysitter because he wanted to go to this party on his own. He's dragging his feet about moving in with you because he doesn't want to be tied down and live as a couple.

Either he's not ready to settle down, or you're not the one he wants to settle down with. Either way, it's time to cut your losses.

I think you may be focussing on this photo because you can’t face thinking about the wider picture of your relationship. Ok, the photo was insensitive of him/his family, but really, you are obsessing over a photo where he is standing too close to a woman and it looks a bit suspicious, when you know he has actually cheated on you on another occasion.. why are you focussing on the possible red flag when there definitely has already been a massive red flag? His family sound awful but it also sounds like they are all getting inside your head far too much and for the sake of your own health and your children’s wellbeing you need to stop seeing this sleaze bag. You don’t live together so you don’t need to walk, you just need to dump him. Prioritise yourself and people who actually care about you, stop wasting energy on this arsehole. Good luck

I feel like they’ll all be laughing at dumb put up with anything me
I would imagine, with the history, that is what everyone is thinking.
Please please set your standards far higher than this cheating scumbag.
Why oh why, after 1 year, would you forgive him for cheating on you?
He's not invested in you at all.
He has no respect for you (or any women by the sounds of it)
Please pick your self-esteem up off of the floor and dump his sorry arse!
You have DC. If you have a girl, what would you say to her if she was with a guy like this?
It's not good enough for your DC and it certainly is not good enough for you.
And modelling this for your DC for their future relationships!!???
Just NO!

The photo is the least of your worries.

Get rid OP..
Put him out in the trash where he belongs. Move on, be happy!

Run for the hills OP

The photo isn't the problem but his attitude is.
Ltb

You deserve better, remember you are the prize