Trigger warning - my journey as a DV survivor

[looondonn]

Wanted to post to really ask for help

Managed to escape - had previously tried 8 times and he always found me or told me I had to go back or he would a) kill himself or b) attack a stranger on the street.

DV support services have not been great sadly. One local organisation lost my details and no one got back to me!! On the day I fled the violence I had to hide in public toilets - there were people there trying to ring Womans aid and no one answered - no one returned our messages.

The organisations do amazing work don't get me wrong - they are so stretched

Today has been a tough day - family member came up behind me and shouted at me for turning coffee pot off downstairs

I got so upset
We had a huge row - they said they can no see why ex attacked me and that I prob brought it all on myself

Composed myself a short while ago - made a list
There have been 65 significant incidents in 18 months
Most recent one was him telling me we needed to have another child and not taking no for an answer

Sorry if this has hurt anyone or brought back bad memories

I'm sorry you have been tested so badly, not least by a family member who should realise better. I hope you have, or can make, some friends who can see the truth and give you the support you need.
Well done on getting out, seeing the truth for yourself, writing it down. Please stay away from him and give yourself chance to be the women your know really are!

Thank you

I am trying
Was doing amazing earlier until I was shouted at

I should not have shouted back but I felt the need to defend myself and my young baby :(

Maybe you've gone to a better place but not the place you need to be ? Sounds like you need better support 💐

Well done on getting out. Try womens aid and the other charities again, they should be able to help you. Maybe you could speak to your GP about getting some therapy so you find similar situations easier to deal with? I'm 2 years out and still have triggers and react in a fight or flight way but counselling is helping a bit.

yes very true
on mat leave so options are limited

horrible situation
most recent fight he went to hit me while I was driving - having nightmares about this now
wish i had the strength to leave him over a year ago - he kept telling me if I left it would make his mother ill and she would die
i was under so much pressure i fell for it all

life is better just some days are really bad

I think you're amazingly strong for getting to where you are. I've not been in this situation, as others who have commented have, but I just wanted to say that. I hope things begin to get better with time for you.

Thank you

Some days are just awful

This week has been hell

Police involved now

Petrified about what happens next

So sorry it's got worse this week and I really hope the police help you with all of this.
With your family member reacting like that, it's easy to see how you ended up in an abusive relationship.
But you got out.
Well done.
There will be some really tough times for a while yet but you can get through them.
You sound strong and ready to defend yourself and your DC.
Did you get through to the Womens Aid at all.
They can help a lot even though you've left.
Keep trying them.
Stay safe and stay strong.

I remember your threads, OP and everyone advised you then to get the Police involved. I'm so glad you have, finally.

And you really need to distance yourself from your family - they will throw you to one side to keep the status quo with your ex - and you are protecting them!

I hope Womans Aid can help you further - even hopefully house you for a while until you are stronger.

Keep posting.

Thank you

Womans aid have been a massive help also

Just worried About future contact
Need to protect my small baby

Future contact with the baby by him? Hopefully, the DV will help in keeping contact supervised.

I think you also need to think about contact with your family - don't ever let them have her alone. You know they will just go straight to him.

And about his family too. I hope the Police and WA can advise.

No wise words. Can only send you a handhold. Be proud of yourself lass. It will all get better. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.